The not so terrible twos

Dec 23, 2009

Nov 9 was my two year surgiversary. I'm pretty much exactly where i was a year ago this time. I haven't lost or gained substantially and haven't needed to make whole wardrobe changes. I'm still not used to being this person. And i'm still not satisfied with my current physical shape. I would like to lose more weight still but i know that means a commitment to exercise and a stricter watch on my eating habits. The exercise is and probably forever will be something i'm loath to make room for in my life, but i can't get where i think i'd be happy without it.

The emtional and mental changes are ongoing as well. I don't know when you get to the point that you fully see yourself as a different person. Although, looking at old pictures of myself i almost have to look away. It seems like a lifetime ago and yet i can't fully seperate my mind from the physical person i used to be. I hope this coming year will see me make the effort i know i can to try to get to the place where i feel i'd be happy with my body and weight loss success. Don't get me wrong, 130lbs is a huge accomplishment that i would have never managed on my own, but that little demon inside your head that says "it's not quite good enough" is a hard sucker to squish.

I don't for one moment regret my surgery, i never have. And while i don't suggest it's a something everyone should do, for me, it was exactly what i needed.

Till next time

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