14 days to go!

Feb 04, 2013

The last two weeks have really taught me a lot about myself. I don't have to eat to be happy! I am really enjoying my Optifast, and have even convinced myself that if I add enough ice, it tastes just like ice cream. This is a great mental trick that I am playing on myself.

My weight loss has slowed down, but I know that I am not doing anything wrong. For once, I have not cheated on a diet! it feels really good to know that I can do this. I can do something positive for myself!

My surgery is 2 weeks away, and I am starting to feel pretty anxious about it. I have all the faith in the world in my surgeon, but I am still wary of complications. I've never had an issue with surgeries in the past, but I have never had anything like this. I am nervous that something won't work. I'm nervous that I will wake up, and the surgeon will tell me he wasn't able to complete the procedure. I know these are somewhat irrational fears, but they are fears nonetheless.

I know that this is a life-changing surgery. I have the best support system in the world. I will be a success story. It will just take some time to really come to terms with the fact that I will no longer be called "Big Amy". I think that I have hidden behind my weight for so long that I can't imagine not having to hide anymore. Will it open more doors for me? Who knows. But at least I can give it a try!

Looking forward to writing my blog on February 5th, 2014.

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