Getting to know ME

Mar 10, 2011

A little about myself: I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I have tried every diet known to man sucha as Fen-Phen, Nutri system, Deal-a-Meal to sleeping in garbage bags to try to lose weight! ( I am the fad diet marketers dream come true)
I have come to the decision along with my family and Dr to have the lap-band surgery. Currently i am in the process of getting approvals; Ive met with a nutritionist, a pulmonologist, and have just scheduled the slew of appointments necessary to get approved for this surgery.

I am nervous. Not gonna lie. I fear i will fail, i fear i will freak out one day and attempt to rip the band from my own stomach. I fear giving up Diet Coke (dont laugh) I fear a lot.
Ive been a Weight Watcher on and off since i was about 13, my last SERIOUS attempt was in March of 2007. I lost a good 40 lbs. As good as eveyone told me i looked, i just didnt believe them. I thought "ohhh... they are family.. they HAVE to say that"
I slowly began re-gaining, not caring, becoming depressed. Flashforward to today... i am at my heaviest adult weight...EVER. 20 lbs heavier then when i started Weight Watchers in 2007.
I highly recommend the WW program, but for me, i couldnt get that "newb" feeling back. I have so many "RE-Commitment " anniversaries i wont bore you with the details.

Im not an FAN of exercise, so that is something im going to have to work on. i know myself and i KNOW i NEED direction. I could go into a gym and stand there for hours staring blindly at all the weight loss contraptions! I cannot be trusted to (as Nike says) "Just do it".
Ive recently found i am a super fan of Richard Simmons. :) hahha. I dont know if its his sparkly red shorts, or his peppy attitude, but throw in a Richard DVD, and ill do it.

SO, here i am. Getting ready to start this journey, im excited and nervous as hell.
I have the full support of my family. Something i am grateful for.
Growing up, my father would pick on me, (he thought it was the right thing to do) he would tell me i was going to be 500 lbs when i grew up if i didnt stop eating the way i did. I sure showed him, didnt i?
Instead of using what he was saying to prove him wrong (hey, i was a kid with a food obsession, why would i?) I took his words and ate the feelings away.
To this day, im not angry with my Dad. Do i wish he had gone about it differnetly??? hellz yeah, but i cant change it, i can only go forward and do this for me.

Im hoping to get approval, and use the Lap-band as a useful weight loss tool.
I am new to all of this, so if you have ANY words of advise or tips or storys to share .. PLEASE DO!

I hope to keep up with this blog and post weights and stories as the surgery process proceeds.

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