Ready or not?

Jul 29, 2010

Ok, I'm can't take it any longer!  This process has been all about compliance to the rules of the Dr and learning more about myself.  I know myself.  I love cotton candy, chocolate, chicken fettucini alfredo, and anything else that is completely carb overload!  I don't eat these foods often, never have because they are not special if they are common to my diet.  I don't eat large amounts of food at one time.  I rarely graze.  My metabolism is extremely slow because I have suffered from anorexia and bulimia since I was in high school.  I have lost tons of weight about 3 times, actually reaching ideal weight and keeping it there for over a year.  This last trip through recovery I have sworn to stay in recovery.  I don't want my daughters to learn my self destructive behaviors.  The only problem with this recovery is the weight gain.  I have been working with counselors and psychiatrists for a few years now, and they all agree that I am an acceptable candidate for bariatric surgery.  I have been scheduled for RNY in September.  I talked to the surgeons nurse about having a BPB-DDS done instead, but she said I don't have a high enough BMI.  They won't even do a distal RNY.  I am most afraid of failure.  I have been on controlled diets and haven't even succeeded at maintaining weight, I ALWAYS gain!  It took years to prove I wasn't sneaking food that I didn't write down.  My metabolism is just that slow!  Without the malabsorbtive part of the surgery is weight loss still possible for me??  Is proximal RNY still malabsorbtive?  HELP!!

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