The Beginning

May 19, 2011

Well I've made a new friend.  Waiting on my friend from work that referred me to this site to send me a friend request.  She is a VSG success story and has been supporting my on and off decision to have the VSG procedure for the past year now.  She has become a very good friend and I consider her to be my BFF.  It's tough finding and keeping a BFF when you work full-time and have children, so her friendship means a lot to me.

I have struggled with my weight since 1988 when I went off to college.  It's been a roller coaster ride of up's and down's with diet after diet. I even did that Mayo Clinic Diet a few times, I lost the weight, but always gained everything back, plus some. 

I weighed 125 and was 5' 5" tall size 8, when I went to college.  I've actually grown to 5' 6.5" with a combination of two children.  It's said with some women they increase height and shoe size with pregnancies, I did, freaky, but I did.  Now I'm 256+, scared to get on the scales, and size 22-24, OMG.  I have "5" of the major health problems listed to have a gastric surgery.  With insulin now, the weight just don't come off. 

I've been talking myself out of having a gastric surgery for over 5 years.  I'm still scared, but I'm to the point that if I don't do something, I feel that I will die by the age 50 and I'm currently 40.  My doctor stated I have the body of a 56 y/o.  Most people think I look over 50.  They think my 10 y/o and 12 y/o are my grandchildren.  This will kill your self esteem.

Another esteem killer, is I look like I'm pregnant all of the time.  I get asked at least 2-4 times a month, when is the baby due.  I love the expression on people's face when I say, "No, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat".  I've actually had people argue with me, because they think I'm joking.  Once they realize I'm not they just don't know what to say.  I tell them it's okay, I'm working on it.  Plus, I have to fly for my new job.  I flew last year and the seat belt barely fit.  I flew last month and had to ask for a seat belt extension.  I was so embarrassed, plus I think they are making the plane seats smaller, or I've just gotten really big.

Well this is enough for now.  I have an appointment with Dr. Bledsoe on 5/20/11 with a tentative VSG date of 7/12/11, my husband's birthday.

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