untitled

Oct 09, 2010

I don't know if this will ever be read by anyone but me... but I guess I wil find out one way or another.
As of right now, I'm scared.

Not of the surgery, but what happens after the surgery.

I'm scared of not knowing what is going to happen.

I'm 18 years old. My life is going to change forever.
...that terrifies me.


...but also excites me to no end.

I will finally be able to enjoy clothes shopping, and not be trying to avoid the fitting rooms at all costs.
I will finally be able to sit in a crowded room without thinking, "Am I the biggest person here?"
I will finally be abe to go to the beach, and have a good time.
I will finally be able to go to ride go-carts without the person asking me if I need a seat-belt adjuster.
I will finally feel like a person.

I won't have to worry about what people think when they look at me.
I won't have to be the funny little fat girl.
I won't have to leave class earlier just to make sure I don't get winded walking to my next class.
I won't have to focus only on what my next meal is going to be  all day long.
I won't feel inferior.

I'm ready.
Let's do this.

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