Worried about the sagging skin and surgery

Jan 14, 2012

 I am having surgery on Monday, Jan. 16.  Today and tomorrow I am doing the colon cleanse.  I feel weak.  I'm staying hydrated ok.  What worries me the most is one year from now - my surgery anniversary, I know I will be thinner and healthier.  But the vain part of me worries about all the sagging skin.  Darn it, I have saggy boops, belly and rolls of fat on my back.  I can't afford plastic surgery (unless I win the lottery).  How will I ever be naked in front of my husband?  Won't he be grossed out?  I just get sick to my stomach thinking about how bad I'll look.   Sucks.  I am 56 years old and yet I feel I have so many years ahead of me.  I don't want to look like a bag of skin.  Yuck.  I can see how this is depressing.  I have half a mind to cancel the surgery but would be too embarrassed to do so since all the "ducks are in the row".  
Please God give me guidance and keep mw safe during this chapter of my life.  Help me accept me all of me - with what God gave me and all the abuse I did to my own body over the years.  Maybe this is my penance.

Please keep me safe Lord.  My husband couldn't survive being a widower nor my daughter could survive without me I'm sure of it.  I have to survive and be here!

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