Cheryl H.
Day 2 pre-op diet
Jul 11, 2014
Sigh......
I am not really a sweet eater. I really prefer savory. I can do this, I can do this....Really? I HAVE to do this! This is my last ditch effort to lose weight and establish a healthy lifestyle. Redefine my relationship with food. Learn to eat to live rather than live to eat. For 42 years, since the age of about 11 or 12, I've had a love/hate relationship with food. I'm tall and big boned. I can remember my mother going on a new diet all the time. I remember hiding food, binging, gorging and when I wanted to puke, I couldn't so I bought laxitives. I would get a sense of high about food then crash into lows and feelings of guilt when I gorged. I started doing what I learned....a new diet, diet pills, fad diets and more. I smoked so I wouldn't be hungry. Then I got pregnant with my daughter, out of wedlock and married her dad. I changed jobs which neccessitated a 3 month move away from my new baby and new husband. I ate and ate and ate to make myself feel better or not feel? Then I worked my new job, training and living in a new state with a new baby and a new husband. And got pregnant again. I had a baby boy and had to go back to train again at my job but this time, no move. Oh yeah and we bought a house. I wanted a divorce as I really didn't love my children's father. He made me feel like I was nothing and not able to survive without him and when I did try to leave him, he used the kids against me, telling me I would be paying HIM child support and getting visitation because I couldn't survive without him. I anestistized my feelings with food, took up smoking again and well, stuck it out with him until my kids were in college. Now divorced and living in a different state, different career and my own home, I realize I CAN do all the things he said I couldn't. The only thing I can't seem to do is lose weight. Which brings me to here and now....today, day 2......I CAN do this!