cjonsite
6/30/14
Jun 30, 2014
Ok...here's my week. Food issues...yup ...still there. I was down a pound this morning...big deal for me as the stupid scale seems to be stuck on one number. Perhaps it was finally feeling sorry for me. Drug issues....well....haven't used again. Yay me! Did I look for anything at my daughter's house after she had surgery...you betcha! Luckily my kids put a "safe plan" in place. In this said plan my daughter was to hide her pain meds in the event I was "seeking". Guess how that makes me feel that my daughter has to do this for her mom? The person who has taken care of her all her life.....not so bad it turns out. You see....it seems that I've raised some pretty good girls who will go to the trouble to help their mom out and realize that she is human. I don't like it...but I'll get over it. The addiction part of my brain has some things to work out yet.
Exercise this week? Gardening!!! I can't believe the energy I have WITHOUT the drugs! I kinda feel like maybe I should have more...but then I remember the numbers on my license...you know....the age and the weight. Gotta get that changed (the weight ...not the age). Funny story....I have been driving around with a funky smell in my car....turns out I still had some compost in the back. Guess the Gingko hasn't kicked in yet...sigh.
Seeing my counselor every week....it lifts me up and points me in the right direction every visit. She lets me talk myself out and along the way I'm discovering who I am, who I was, and who I want to be. Sometimes I wonder why I'm paying her..... I know that I am a work in progress and I'm no longer going to be the "go to " person all the time. (Big family....oldest....planner....you see where I'm going with this.)
I will get through this.....and maybe along the way my weight loss will start up again. Right now I'm just taking it a few days at a time. And I'm happy with that.
"One of the happiest moments ever is when you find the courage to let go what you can't change."
