Omigosh, this is hard

Apr 01, 2010

Well, today was Day 1 of 5 clear liquid days. I did fine at work, wasn't even hungry. Then went to Grandma's and the kids were eating chocolate, my favorite.  When the chocolate was melting, I didn't even lick my fingers. I doubt I will go over there again. Too many distractions. Came home and hubby strted to grill. The smell was overpowering, I just kept myself busy on the computer. I hope I can keep busy on Saturday, when I'm off work.

I think my family is getting more nervous then me. They asks me everytime if I'm nervous or ready for the trip. I am ready, though I need to work on packing more. I'm trying not to take too much since I have to pay for every bag. My sisters haven't even acknowledged the surgery day nor called. So little sad about that. :(

I read somewhere that you could write out letters to those you love, 'just in case'. And then if nothing happens, you could trash the letters. I may write a few emails.

Love that my day is coming. I'm just trying to picture myself thin.  I cant' wait to ride rides at amusement parks because I'm scared to go, I don't think I would fit. I'm also worried about the plane ride. My mom who is small will sit next to me, so maybe I could leave the armrest down. I'm trying not to think about it. I cant' wait to shop in a regular section instead of ordering online or going to specialty shops.

Really love the support I get here. I hope it continues.

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