cstokes80
What brought me to WLS?
Feb 18, 2014
So I'm currently 1 week away from my scheduled surgery. I'm reflecting on what brought me to this place in my life. I was not an obese child, in fact I was very thin.
Once I got to high school I had a boyfriend who was always telling me how fat I was? I wasn't fat at all, I weighed 127lbs?!?!?! So I started obsessing over my weight and barely eating a thing. I got down to around 110lbs and ditched the toxic boyfriend. I graduated HS and started dating someone new. We moved in together when I was 19 and surprise!!!!!!!! I suddenly put on 20lbs, then 30, then 40.... I gained the weight so fast that my skin was literally bursting at the seams with stretch marks. I was horrified!!!! 3 years later I was up 70lbs and my live in boyfriend was taking full advantage of my situation by validating his awful behavior by telling me that no one would want me and I should be so lucky to have him. After 5 years of mental abuse, I pulled myself to get her and left.... At this point I was 200lbs.
At that point I was 24 and alone. I moved in with friends to get myself together. I thought I was happy but then the backhanded comments started. You know the ones "you have a pretty face" or " you would be pretty if you just lost weight". My co worker even came up with the lovely term "Fotty" = a fat hottie :\........... If that wasn't bad enough then my family started on me about it. My mother, my brother, my grandmother. ALL OF THEM had something mean to say. Even the kids in my family would ask me why am I fat? I fell apart in private more times than I want to think about.
I set out in 2011 to lose weight after seeing a picture of myself at a horse show. I won 2nd place that day but all I could think about was how terrible I looked in those riding clothes. I managed to drop about 50lbs and I was doing great! This was all too short lived. I got some devastating news that would send me to the point of a mental break down. I stopped going out, I stopped riding, I stopped talking to just about everyone. I was gripped with anxiety so much that I could barely even go to work. All this hiding out did was pack on the pounds and lead to more anxiety.
I got my mind together and made the same thwarted efforts at dieting that everyone does. I lose it, I gain it. I couldn't take anymore of the distress I was causing myself. I did some research and started calling around to get information. In August 2013, I attended the seminar at Winchester Medical Center and started my journey to this point.
