Eighteen months out

Mar 11, 2010

 Oh crap. I've been slacking beyond slacking. Grazing, snacking, carb overloading, not drinking water, etc. etc. Basically, I've gotten much too comfortable in my post-WLS body. However, I've had a recent revelation that's got me back on track this last week or so. Basically, in the last 10 months I have lost nothing. NOTHING. All of the losing was in the first year or so and I've plateaued by allowing myself to eat in ways that are simply not conducive to losing or even maintaining my weight loss. The fact is, RNY has done it's job. It's not a miracle cure, it's not a quick fix, a long fix, or even a permanent tool - that's all bullshit and anyone who believes it going into surgery or after it is destined to fail in my humble opinion. RNY did me one favor - it gave me a bitching head start. It allowed me to lose 150 pounds in a little over a year and get to a point where now, the work is entirely up to me to lose the rest and maintain the loss. I honestly and truly feel like - at this point - I have no advantage over "normal" people struggling to lose just a bit of weight. We are in the same boat, only I am at risk of vitamin deficiencies and twisted bowels and they aren't. The question when considering surgery should be: is the trade-off worth it? Because, that's exactly what it is - a trade off. As my doctor put it, you are trading one chronic condition (obesity) for another (being a WLS patient). In the last 4 months, I've gained 11 pounds and one day after a particularly salty meal, I actually hit 200 on the scale again. That was the point I realized that I am, basically, still suffering with a chronic condition. I hope that recognizing this at this point will save me the drama of using this space as a bitching post for my post op regret after regaining 100 pounds, as so many do. Because the fact is I realize that the surgery is over, it's done it's work and now it's my turn. Sure, it might stop me from eating and entire pizza or tub of ice cream in one sitting, but I never really did that anyway. All of the old thoughts about food - the longing, the wanting to snack just because, the craving for sweet and salty or savory and fatty, whatever - it's all still there waiting for you on the other side. So newbies, be prepared for that reality and oldies, always keep that in mind. 

Highest weight: 337
Lowest weight: 183
Current weight: 194
Goal for next check-in:180 (April 11, 2010)

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