I Am Calling This Day 1

Jan 29, 2011

In ten days I will have my gastric bypass.  My current feelings are a big mixture of nerves, excitement, conflict and fear.   Who and what will I be after this?  I am not really sure but I know that weight has been a huge area of dissatisfaction for me as long as I can remember being me.  Even the word "weight" - I don't like it.

I am doing all the things I am supposed to be doing - transitioning to a liquid diet, buying vitamins, protein powders and drinks. I am getting ready to move to this surgery phase by telling family and friends.  I feel like I am enlisting an elite team of supporters. For now, only the people I love and trust the most get to share my journey.  They are the Navy Seals of moral support!   If i let you know - you are in my top tier, my inner circle.  

On this blog, the public baring of my biggest insecurity is frightening but I think it will be helpful longterm.

It's hard to tell people.  Not just because I am an intensely private person about somethings but you always fear the nasty possibility of being judged negatively.  I tell my friends and my family - I have made this decision and I am telling you because i hope you will support me.  The insecurity monster living inside me is really saying, " please don't judge me, don't think I am fat and lazy - keep loving me, please."  Damn that insecurity monster!  Luckily adult me can translate his insecurities into an acceptable, adult conversation.

I hope if you read this you support me because know that I support you if you are doing something to make yourself happy and improve your life.  I hope if you read this you have a strong support system like I dobecause we all need a support system.   I hope if you read this you will enjoy hearing about my journey to what we call in the marketing world, "the new and improved" me.  Same great features that everyone loves.  There will just be new packaging.

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