Wendy M.
Out of Control!
Jan 01, 2011
It has been nearly a year since I have posted anything - and that has been because I am become more and more out of control. I don't know why other than stresses in my life. Losing weight does not make life perfect. All the stresses that were there before are still there - even weight issues! So, my resolution this year is to turn my life around and do the one thing I didn't do before - confront the emotional side of my addiction - yes, it is an addiction - and I have finally admitted I have that tendency to become easily addicted to things. Trying to avoid the issues of why I am grazing and overeating and not following my plan, the "fun" outings with my husband to the casino have slowly turned to an addiction that I see clearly, so I have told my husband to not suggest we go to the casino (it is too easy to readily agree), and if I suggest it, to gently but firmly tell me no. But it is very difficult to say NEVER going back - so I am taking it in short segments. For now, it is no to going there in the next 6 weeks - I will take it in 6 week segments for now. And I am calling today to see where and when OA (Overeaters Anonymous) meets - I am going to start going there again (I went over 25 years ago for about 3 weeks). It is not Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystems, or any other diet that I need - I know what to eat - I know what my surgeon told me I should eat for the rest of my life. But what I do need is to address my addiction head on and face those things in my life that are spurring on my addictive behaviors.So - I need to be accountable to myself to everyone else who reads this. Here is evidence of how out of control my eating has become. In the past year I have gained back 50 pounds - 20 of that in the past 2 months. And I have gained back 42" - 24 1/2" of that in the past 2 months - that is frightening, embarrassing (I am so ashamed of myself!), and a big awakening! So - every Saturday I will come on line and post my progress - weight and inches. And I will also try and post everyday - journaling my achievements and my struggles and my feelings. It is so difficult to do that here on this site where you all can see my failures. The good news is I have kept off 112 lbs - and I will not gain any more back! I have come to far for that. Please keep me in your prayers - I so need it!
Wendy
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About Me
Spokane, WA
Location
47.0
BMI
Surgery
09/05/2008
Surgery Date
Aug 12, 2008
Member Since
