Here I Go....

Nov 07, 2012

I've been overweight pretty much all my life.  My first trip to Weight Watchers was when I was 16, and my weight then was 160.  My goal weight right now is 150.  Since then, I've been to WW several more times, did Nutri-System, the Weight Loss Clinic (800 calorie diet), and tried diet pills briefly.  I got a personal trainer, joined a fitcamp, and had countless gym memberships.  The most I was able to lose at any given time was 25 pounds.  I don't know why I was never successful at anything - it wasn't a matter of them not working, because they all worked, but I'd get tired of logging food, or hurt my back and couldn't exercise, or just went on a junk food binge after a certain length of time.

It's now 26 years after that first WW meeting, and I'm at the highest I've ever been.  I NEVER thought I'd see 300 on the scale, but there it was.  I've been researching WLS for awhile, and I'm at kind of an advantage because my ex husband had RNY in 2003 and lost 380 pounds.  

I understand about the lifestyle change, and am soooo ready to do this.  Although I'd been researching, I just never felt ready to do anything about it.  When I booked the surgery, it was at a time that it just FELT right.  I had no qualms, I got the surgeon that I'd originally wanted, and I didn't have to go alone.  I'm bringing my 3rd year nursing school friend with me so I probably won't die alone in a Mexican hotel.  

I just don't want to go into my future years in a wheel chair, or have a heart attack in the next 5 years.  I want to be healthy, and after being a support person for so many years to my ex, walking through the obese times, the surgical time, and the healthy time, it's time for ME to concentrate on ME.  

I am excited, yet terrified, and I can't imagine how life will be like.  Well, I CAN imagine it, but it's so surreal at this point.  

I'm very grateful for this forum.  :)

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