fran2014
How it all began.
Apr 06, 2014
My story began when I was born to two teenage parents who immigrated to Canada alone leaving behind family and friends. They were uneducated and both never had parents that were loving and nurturing. I was born when my mother was 18 and my dad was 22. Within the next three year my sisters where born. My father was a very controlling man even until today and my mother was very passive yet she ran the household. At a very young age my parents started to depend on me. They depended on me to translate, to take care of my younger sisters, to cook and keep the house tidy. The weight started to come on when I was 7 when I had my tonsils removed. This was the beginning of my hell. Because I was doing grownup things I felt like a grown up by the time I was 8 or 9 years old. School was becoming more of a challenge and I didn't have help at home with school work so I started to skip school. I was also molested by my friends sister and almost raped by the same friend father. Yet I never to my parents because I was afraid that they would blame me for being at their house. That same year my father was hitting me for something that I did and he through me onto the bed where I hit my arm on the metal bed frame which I broke my arm. I remember staying home the whole winter. I would stay home and eat and watch TV. I also started to steal my fathers cigarettes and started smoking all by the time I was 10 years old. I would steal money out of my mothers purse to go to the store and buy chocolate bars and if I didn't have money I would shoplift. My parents then moved to a nice town where I had to stop smoking and I ended up failing grade 4 because I was absent for a long time.
For the next 5 years of grade school where tough, I still had to babysit my sisters and I couldn't go out with friends. I have to come home after school and prepare dinner for the family. All i did was eat and watch TV. I started to hate my sisters and I was very mean to them. I would beat them and yell at them. I had so much anger that I hated everyone and I took it out on them. Every time I think about it I still get this feeling of sadness. I've apologized to my sisters a number of times and they say that they forgive me, but I know that they are still broken from that violent time.
By the time I started high school I was 200 lbs and the depression starts. I hated myself and I started to isolate myself from my friends. I didn't want to be seen with fat friends only thin because it made me feel better about myself. I started smoking and binge eating followed by purging. I hated eating dinner with my family, i hated that I would have to make the same thing every night and that I was forced to eat everything on my plate, that is when I would purge. I would steal my fathers car at night and sneak out to McDonald with my sisters. We would eat and eat cheeseburger and milkshakes. My sisters also started to gain weight, now all three of us were obese. We where called the three fat sisters.
After high school I had enrolled to a college to study Marketing but I was so anxious about going. I didn't think I was smart enough or that I was to fat and people will make fun of me. As it turned out both my parents went on disability and money was tight. So I had to go to work so that I could help them out with the bills. I was relieved that I didn't have to go to college.
Work was good I felt free, I have my own car and I was making good money. In the early 90's ppl were taking these diet pills and losing lots of weight so I thought I would ask my doctor for them. My sisters and I started taking these pills and OMG they worked. We started exercising and I got down to 149 lbs and kept if off until I got pregnant . I gained 50 lbs during my pregnancy and my daughter only weighted 6 lbs.14oz. I managed to drop 20 lbs so i stayed 180 lbs for a while.
Six months later my husband and I opened up a dinner where we worked 6 days a week and 12 hours a day. I got depressed because I missed my baby and I was tired of the restaurant life. I didn't want this business but did it because we need to save money so that we could buy a house. The weight begins to increase. We manage to sell the business after two years. Now I want an other baby so we try and I have a miscarriage. Depression comes back.
In 1997 we move into our new home and in 1999 my son is born. After the pregnancy I weigh 220 lbs. For the next 5 years I worked part time and took part time courses, I realized that i loved learning and going to school. If i could afford it I would love to get my degree in physiology.
During those years the depression came back and I was put on anti depression because my doctor said that i suffer from PMS. The medication made me sleep all the time and the weight started to pile on which I then developed sleep apnea. I weigh kept coming on and I hit 240 lbs. After some test I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I am on medication yet I cannot lose any weight so I've ballooned to 256 lbs.
I have been to Councillors and been on medications for the PMS, I've been on every diet and exercised for over 35 years and nothing has helped me. This is why I have decided to have the vertical gastric sleeve procedure. It scares me to death but I I'm not alone, my sisters are also planning to have the surgery because both are over 300 lbs.