so emotional

Apr 11, 2011

the hormones are raging and causing me to have such mood swings.  I hate it because I feel like I have no control.  I feel like I did right b4 I had my nervous breakdown about 10 years ago.  I hate not feeling great like I have been since my surgery in Jan.  These moods swings are causing me to have nightmares, sleep less, have no desire to eat, feel so tired, and even beginning to withdraw away from my family.
Worked on a different floor this weekend and everyone was paying me compliments out the ass.  You would think that this would make me feel good.. right!  WRONG.  All I kept thinking is OMG how bad did I look before.  I was also cranjky and easily irritated this weekend.  Woke up today feeling the same wa.  I am craving attention, but yet want to be left alone at the same time.

Today I had a nice good cry.  Felt bad about crying. Felt weak.  Talked with fiance about how I am feeling.  I am scared that hes gonna think I am so nutzo and not want to stick around (its happened in the past with another guy).  I did however feel some better after the cry and the talk.  Got motivated to take the dog and go for a short walk outside.

I think that I am gonna increase my Lexapro dose, call the pyschologist tomorrow to talk or schedule an appt to talk.  Gonna ask for something for anxiety

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