franRN76
April's showers bring May's flowers
Apr 19, 2011
I love springtime and what it represent. Goodbye drabby old Mr. winter and hello to warmer and brighter days. Days filled with sunshine and lots of nature's little miracles. So I was thinking that since I am starting this journey to emotional healing (saw the Psych tomorrow and go again next Monday) that this old saying about spring reflects how this is the beginning of my rebirth. The WLS started the rebirth physically, but it opened up old wounds from the past. So in ways April will bring showers of tears to help my future blossom.I thought I had put the past behind me, but as feared before having this surgery, it has reared its ugly head again. What I need to do is look the demon (my past) in the eye and tell it that it won't WIN. I am in this fight for the long haul and I will fight. I will triumph and release the hold that this pain has on me. I do not care how long it takes. I am sick and tired of thinking that I was over it, just to have it creep back up again.
I saw my new Psychologist yesterday. I was impressed. I of course did all the talking. She asked questions and just listened. I love the vibe that I got from her. Now I wont lie. I did feel raw when I left her office. Mostly because I felt guilty. My mother was a source of emotional and physical pain in my childhood. We got over it and got closer before she died. Now when I go back to the past and think of the woman she was then and what happened to me, I feel guilty. I do not want to remember her in that way. But I do have to re-visit the past to get over it.
Me, Tony, and the dog (Leo) went to the local park. I thought I needed to get out and get some fresh air to help clear my head. I was right it did help. I have always like springtime and all that comes with it. It wasn't a sunny day, but the temp was great. There was a slight breeze. I ran around and played with the puppy. Then we sat down on the grass. I ended up laying on Tony's lap, let my senses take over and let this nice Spring day clear my head. The breeze on my skin and the sounds of the children playing erased the hurt that I was feeling. It was so peaceful. I came home and took a nice nap. Woke up feeling so refreshed.
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About Me
PA
Location
39.3
BMI
Surgery
01/03/2011
Surgery Date
Aug 23, 2010
Member Since
