I am so glad I chose to start this journey.

Jun 03, 2010

This has been an exciting ride. I've lost a total of 34 pounds since shortly before my consult, and have 29 left to goal. I waited until Easter before I could even get in to a really good dress I have. Even then I had to wear  jacket over it because I was so stuffed in! 5 days ago I put it on to get ready to go to a performance of Phantom of the Opera and it was huge! It will have to be professionally altered because it is beyond my sewing capabilities.

I am losing at a rate of about 4 oz. every few days which is fine with me. My mother noted today that I have lost a lot in my shoulders and upper back. Those were two bad areas. Of course my upper abdomen will always be my particular problem, that is making progress, too. The dress I resorted to for our trip to Phantom I have never worn without its' jacket, until now. It is a simple sheath with a chiffon overlay. It looked great. I did have to wear a control garment in order to bring some bulges under control, but I was so happy to look like a normal person!

Unfortunately, I didn't try to sit down in this get up and discovered during the performance that the waistband on this under garment pressed hard on my port area. OW!  I survived it, had a wonderful time. It was a tough time as well, since Phantom was the very favorite of out late daughter. She counted the times she saw it in Toronto and Chicago as the highlights of her life (except for her two sons). I cried but I am healing. Soon the third anniversary of her sudden death will come and of course I dread the pain of remembrance of that horrible time, but God has been faithful to carry us through. If I had had to face that time without knowing that God was right with us at each step of the way I wouldn't have survived. It sure wasn't easy or pleasant, but we've come through. I see His hand of Grace everywhere, including bringing me into this journey toward a new life.

I find myself standing straighter and gaining more confidence. I even think of getting together with old friends instead of hiding. I find that I don't care so much about waiting until I've lost more, because I know I will but it seems less important, now. Getting to goal is important but just existing until..... is no longer an option. Praise God.

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