No Unfill

Oct 29, 2010

I made that appointment for an unfill just over a week ago. It was to have been this last Wed. but nearly as soon as I had the appointment Sybil, my band, did a quick switch again(me looking shocked). I ended up postponing it until next Monday to give myself time to see what would happen. Today they called me as a reminder and I cancelled it altogether. It suddenly seems that as long as I am well hydrated I can eat well. I am still more tight in the morning but I can deal with that. In fact I am getting a bit hungry before I should be. Talk about fickle. Once again I am on hold.

I have heard from some who dislike the band that they hated being able to eat something one day and not the next, reflux, heartburn, pb'ing, sliming, and stuck all the time. I can say without a doubt that there never has been a time when this happened that it has not been my own darned fault. I don't get my fluids in so what will happen? I am easily distractable and eat too fast or don't chew well so what do I expect? I have not have heartburn or reflux, so it is not my band. Mostly I can tell ahead of time when I might have a problem, I just don't always pay attention. Do I believe that others are just being careless? No. I don't. Some may be, sometimes, but all the time? No. Are their complications their own fault? No. I only know what happens to me, right now.

The last time I wrote on my blog I talked about maintenance and being really unsure. I still am because, after all, it has only been a week. Duh. I described it earlier this week as being in the dark in the house at night. When I turn off lights and my eyes havent adjusted I have to sometimes feel my way by sticking a foot out and feeling my way. THAT is what I feel like. It is scary! Yet, in a way it is exciting. I have come so far and have achieved things I never thought I would be able to. So, I am looking at it as being a new learning experience. It is going to be hard, frustrating, perhaps heartbreaking, but I hope rewarding, too. Onward and upward!

 

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