Nearly 9 weeks out

Oct 18, 2012

I am now nearly 9 weeks out from my revision. I have been doing much, much better and have quit the "Buyers Remorse" thing. The sleeve is still difficult for me to adapt to but I am gradually doing it. I have been able to eat much more normal food the past week with good results. I still don't have a clear idea of my stop signal but have been relying on the feeling of "One bite more and there will be trouble" feeling. I still miss being able to drink several swallows at a time. My 2 medium sized sips are not enough to quench thirst and I have to wait a time after I take them in order to do more. I have the same problem with liquids as I do food; a bit too much causes suffering and may well come flying back at me.

We took a couple of days this week to go camping. The first two days were lovely but yesterday we had to pack up in a break from the rain. Today we have rain and cold. It makes me not want to move. We sure needed the time away since we have been running constantly since late July. The few times away we have caught have been sanity savers. Today we are driving the hour to our daughters' new house in order to install cabinet hardware on her kitchen cabinets, plant some perennials I dropped off last week, and help unpack. With being a single mom with 3 kids in lots of activities, a full time job, and cerebral palsy it is not easy for her to do it herself. The big move was last Fri. We got all the beds set up and furniture placed but oh my the boxes! It took her till mid week to find her phones. The wireless router is still missing as well as the box of remotes. I am glad it is not me doing it. We have been here 38 years on Halloween and there is stuff every where. Just having to sort it all would be overwhelming. I try to get rid of stuff but more comes in somehow. I will be delighted, though, to take this daughter and children the things I have been storing in an upstairs bedroom for 4 years now.

Back to wls for a moment. Since my revision I have done a lot of thinking (and some cussing). I have done some going back to the beginning of the whole process and what I have learned. I have learned to respect myself. I have learned something that has been most important to me; I don't have to be perfect. If I have bad days or even weeks it is not the end of things. I don''t have to continue to binge, eating more and more of the old foods as if they would never be there again. I don't have to berate myself. What a relief that was to learn, I have been my own worst critic and enemy since I was about 6. No one could possibly beat me up more than I did myself.

I have also learned to enjoy going out in public, shopping, all those fun things we never wanted to do before. I recently went to a wedding and reception that I once would have blown off. I was running a bit late and when I pulled out the outfit I had planned to wear it had gotten wrinkled in the closet. I didn't have time to deal with it so I picked something else. Do you hear that? I could just reach in and get out something else, change jewelry, and be on my way. It turned out to be a happy thing because I got lots of comments about how great I looked. In fact the dress looked better than it ever had before. Even my 84 year old mother said "That dress looks HOT on you"! I was worried she would fret about me being too thin since I am a few pounds too low. She did worry about the small amount I ate and how long it took but I keep telling her that once I am past the 3-4 month point or at the worst 6 month, I will be able to eat more and in a slightly shorter time. Actually I was thrilled that I could eat REAL food and keep it down.

I have more "\things I have Learned" to review so I will update my list next time.

Sue
Down to 138 pounds, previous low was 145. I had regained some so that between the start of the revision process and two weeks ago I have lost 25 pounds. The hard way....puking and calorie depletion. I will allow some regain  but I suspect my sleeve will remain stricter with me than my band did.

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