Still on the path...

Jan 20, 2012

Today, I weigh more than I've ever weighed in my life.  What the heck is wrong with me?!  I don't have a history of being a stress eater but that's exactly what I've been doing.  I feel unsettled, unfocused, unmotivated, and generally anxious.  I have this life changing event just over my horizon.  I feel like I’m in limbo even though I still have goals to meet before my surgery.  I’ve always been very self-reliant and very independent.  For the first time, in a long time, I feel like I need someone to lean on. That’s not much like me.  I guess that’s why support groups are so important.  I hope we can get a good one started in my area.

I've also have been trying to work out a logistical problem – how do I get back and forth to Seattle for my surgery.  Seattle is about 2 hours from where I live.   My parents are older and live in AZ.  I hate to use the word elderly because it doesn't fit them in so many ways - but they're in their 70's.  They would have a difficult time navigating Seattle and the aggressive drivers in the city.  Furthermore, my dad would be bored out of his tree.  He would do just about anything for his kids but, he has to be busy all the time.  Waiting around a hospital would make him crazy…bless his heart.  My only child, my daughter, lives in ND and has a small baby, a full time job, and a husband.  My sister, also in ND, has two small school age children and she's fighting cancer.  She has enough on her plate.

Friends?  I moved out here about 10 years ago when I was 39 years old.  At that age, people in my age group generally have established an inner circle.  This is especially true if they grew up a local.  Even when an outsider makes friends, you're on the peripheral and it’s not easy to make really close friends – especially when you’re very overweight and they aren’t and they have family (locally) and you don’t.  I don’t mean to imply anything disparaging against my friends.  They are wonderful people and I’m blessed to have them as part of my life – our lives are just different.  Needless to say, I don't have any friends that I could ask to do this - to take the time off from work to drive me to Seattle, much less sit with me while in the hospital.

Then an epiphany!  No one needs to drive!  I spoke to my mom and she’s going to fly in and we’ll take the train to Seattle!  The train station is about a mile from the hospital and there is a hotel across the street from the hospital.  Viola!  Problem solved!

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