And so the Pre-Op diet begins...

Sep 06, 2011

I have never been excited about dieting.  I've been excited about losing weight.  It's the idea of deprivation that just literally pi$$e$ me off! 

I started the protein shake for breakfast, protein shake for lunch with a piece of fruit, and low cal (Healthy choice, Lean Cuisine) for dinner diet yesterday...which really isn't that bad compared to what I've heard others have had to go through.  But I added it up and it's less than 1000 calories a day, 800 if even.  So I know I'll lose some weight within the next two weeks if I follow it like I'm supposed to.  

I started a food diary as well, to hold myself accountable.  I think accountability plays a large roll...uh, I mean role in my success.

Yesterday wasn't bad until we went to the mall and walked around...and then there was Chic-Fil-A...I love Chic-Fil-A.  Then there was the smell of the cinnamon sugar pretzels...I can count the number of them I've ever had on one hand, I don't usually get one, but of course I was MAD bec/ I knew I couldn't have one and I couldn't go to Chic-Fil-A.  I guess I'm going to feel this way for a while...at least until the weight comes off and I see the results of the deprivation.

I know I shouldn't look at it as deprivation...but a change in my lifestyle, but right now I'm to "ill/irritated" to convice myself of that right now.  

This morning I had a 230 calorie Jimmy Dean D-light muffin with egg, cheese, canadian bacon on the way to work with my protein shake bec/ I didn't eat dinner last night.  And then I rationed out 6 almonds between breakfast and lunch and 6 more between lunch and dinner.  (Of course, I still feel the guilt for "snacking" when I'm not supposed to be...)  By the time I got home and did 20 minutes on the elliptical, I wasn't really hungry, but I ate my Healthy Choice (in front of the tv, still have to change that) and found myself wanting more even before I was finished...maybe it was bec/ I was watching tv.  The whole time thinking, I wasn't even hungry before?!? 

Tim is being supportive, he found out he was diabetic a few months ago when I started looking into the surgery and has since lost 30lbs, I hate him, but I'm really proud of him.  He cut out the diet mt. dew's and usually drinks only water and watches what he eats, doesn't eat any junk like he used to.  He hasn't exercised or anything.  Of course he's going to lose more this next few weeks, bec/ we're on a frozen dinner diet for now.  

I'm certainly hoping this gets easier as the week goes on.  I keep telling myself this won't be ending after the two week pre-op diet...I'm trying to get my mind off of the whole "deprivation" concept...I'm afraid that if I don't, I'll eventually start eating like I used to bec/ I've felt deprived...the killer of all the diets I've ever been on...

I just wish I could stop being so pi$$y!  Maybe as the surgery gets nearer, I'll be more excited and it will take my mind off of the 'diet'.  13 days to go!  I realized I only have 8 more days at work...Ya-hoo!
 

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