Nervous

Apr 12, 2012

 Today it has hit me that I am really going to go for it. I am praying so hard that I get approved, I just have to have faith that whatever is best for me will happen. I am a little nervous however because since I have started with the dietitian, I have started to eat worse than I have eaten in months! Also I have had back to back to back family issues. My son broke his arm, my grandma fell and got stitches, and now my mom has gotten a horrible infection and is unable to get out of bed. Grrrrrrr. It can be really hard to be committed to myself when there is always someone who needs me. In some ways I want to be needed and in others it can be too much. I know that eating more to cope is not what the dietitian will want to see and I don't want to use circumstance as an excuse. I just feel like I am going down the wrong path by not sticking to my plan for this month. I can do this. I can on track and stay there. I have too! I have to feel in control again. Of my body and of my life. I am so grateful that I have a chance to get this surgery. I have an appt. April 25th for my dietitian visit, then I have another visit on April 30th to get all of my xrays and such completed. Then I have two more dietitian visits and I can submit for approval. Oh the wait...not so great on the nerves. I pray that I can do better on sticking to my plan and I can exercise more regularly. 

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