My Pre WLS Journey

May 01, 2012

I believe everyone's journey down the path to WLS begins with that eye opening A-HA! moment. I mean, I do not think that any of us just go about our daily life and wake up one day and say, "Hmm, I think I am going to have WLS". Most people don't have a sudden epiphany without a trigger. I had 2 triggers almost back to back.

My son was married on Decembr 30th, 2011. Of course I was so excited for him and looked forward to their wedding. My new daughter-in-law sent me the link to the wedding pics as soon as they were available. All of the pics of the gorgeous couple were amazing. They glowed with happiness. I was such a proud mama! But, the second I saw the pics with me in them, I had to fight back tears. My heart just plummetted. I sat and stared in disbelief. How in the world could I have EVER let myself get to this point? I have never been a size 5 but I had always yo-yo'd between a 9 and a 14. I am n ow an 18 pushing 20. That night as I showered, I cried and cried. I cried quietly so that no one else would know how ashamed I was. I was ashamed, angry and hurt. Ashamed of how I looked and how I had just let myself go. I was both equally angry and hurt with my own self. I had let myself down. For a moment I was angry with my husband. I blamed him for my weight gain. But, I am a grown woman. I make my own decisions. And, that included changing my eating habits to match his (for the worse). It only took a moment to realize that. I was the only one to blame. He was an innocent party. I am the one who decides what I eat- no one else. It was personal accountability time.

My second A-Ha! came just a few weeks later. I had an annual exam and physical. When the bloodwork results returned, it should that I was teetering on the border of diabetes. Now, I was not just ashamed, angry and hurt, I was SCARED to death.

I knew I needed to do something. What I also realized is that I knew I could not do it all on my own.

I made the call to the bariatric surgeon for an initial consultation. I did not even tell my huband at first. I waited a couple of days. I needed to be sure of my own decision before I brought him into it.

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