- Username: jhadden
- Location: Danbury, CT, USA
- Member Since: 2/3/2006
- BMI: 41.6
- Post Op
- Surgery Type: RNY (09/27/07)
- Surgeon: Keith Zuccala MD
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I am 36 years old and live in Danbury, CT with my hubby, four cats (Griffin, Bear, Asia and Mouse), my miniature long haired Dachshund (Lu Lu) and my chameleon (Kermit). We are obviously animal lovers here lol. I have been overweight since about age 10, but not obese until about 10 years ago. I started really gaining after college when I went through some pretty tragic stuff, then a back injury and surgery which didn't allow me to move much, contributed to me gaining about 50 pounds. Then, after getting married, as many of us do, I kind of let myself go and ate whatever I wanted. My hubby and I loved to order take out and go out to eat all the time. The difference is that he is 6'4 and thin, so he didn't have to watch as much, lucky him! I always jokingly called us the bat and ball couple lol.
I grew up in Newtown, CT, one city over with my parents and older sister, who by the way is size 0 and blonde. I'm sure you can imagine living with that and being overweight. My dad was always the food police, telling me what I shouldn't be eating, which just made me want to eat more, and I did.
I am 36 years old and live in Danbury, CT with my hubby, three cats (Griffin, Bear and Mouse), my miniature long haired Dachshund (Lu Lu) and my chameleon (Kermit). We are obviously animal lovers here lol. I have been overweight since about age 10, but not obese until about 10 years ago. I started really gaining after college when I went through some pretty tragic stuff, then a back injury and surgery which didn't allow me to move much, contributed to me gaining about 50 pounds. Then, after getting married, as many of us do, I kind of let myself go and ate whatever I wanted. My hubby and I loved to order take out and go out to eat all the time. The difference is that he is 6'4 and thin, so he didn't have to watch as much, lucky him! I always jokingly called us the bat and ball couple lol. I grew up in Newtown, CT, one city over with my parents and older sister, who by the way is size 0 and blonde. I'm sure you can imagine living with that and being overweight. My dad was always the food police, telling me what I shouldn't be eating, which just made me want to eat more, and I did.
June 16, 2008 on June 16, 2008 12:29 pm
Hello Friends,
Again, sorry I haven't written in awhile. I have actually been working a little bit substituting once or twice a week for my district. It is nice to get back into it slowly, but after one day I am exhausted lol. I can't believe I used to do it everyday. But, honestly, I miss the kids a lot. Teaching is a part of me and it really bothers me that I cannot find a job with 7 years of experience and a Masters Degree. This economy is awful and seemingly getting worse. We are so broke!!! I hope I start getting some interviews for next school year. I have my application in to every district in the state practically! It is so much nicer now to go on interviews or anywhere for that matter. I can actually dress up and look nice, instead of sweating bullets in a huge piece of fabric that just covers me up enough. I walk much prouder now in my size 6. Size 6, size 6, size 6, size 6!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just have to say it over and over. I cannot get over it. I have never been a size 6, nor did I ever dream I would be in a size 6. I went shopping with my mom the other day and realized that my 8s were too big and I was on to a 6. I was soooooooooo happy. I actually bought myself a miniskirt! I can't believe it. I think it is just starting to all hit me. Before this realization, I wasn't feeling all that different from when I was heavy. I still had no energy and still had bouts of Depression, even on the meds. In addition to that, I've been getting sick on everything lately. I need to go get that checked out. It is not as bad now, since I still have 25 pounds to lose, but what happens when I'm at goal? I don't want to become anorexic. I will make an appointment to talk with my surgeon about that. Otherwise, I am feeling really good about the weight loss. I'm hanging out at 150 these days. I guess it is another stall. I don't think I am eating enough. I have to watch that. Ok, I'll post again when the scale starts moving.
Mousie
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May 17, 2008 on May 17, 2008 2:54 am
Hello My OH Family,
Again, I have waited way to long to update my profile. IT is already May, 8 months from when I had my surgery. Since my last post, I have had emergency surgery on an internal hernia. I have never known such horrible pain in my life. It was so awful. The surgery was nothing compared to the pain I felt beforehand. I was literally moaning and crying, all hunched over in the hospital for like 4 hours before they finally gave me enough pain meds to actually work. I couldn't believe people kept walking by, seeing me hysterical and in pain and not doing anything or asking if I was ok. I was like, "Isn't this supposed to be a hosptial where caring people work?" It sure didn't seem like it until this angel nurse found my doc and got me the pain meds. I hope I never have to feel pain like that again!
I finally broke the plateau I was in for like 7 weeks. All of a sudden a huge amount of weight and inches dropped off. I hope that gives hope to those who are experiencing a plateau now. It was so frustrating and disheartening, but so well worth it. I wouldn't have minded so much if I knew the huge weight drop was coming, but I was beginning to think I was through losing and/or doing something wrong with my diet. I guess everyone's body works differently. I am at 154 now and feeling very thin and happy. I cannot get over this feeling. I actually see my reflection in store windows and don't want to cry. I am excited about shopping and everything looks so nice on my new body. I am in a size 8 jeans, which is just beyond my comprehension. And I bought a little tiny mini skirt and it actually looks nice! Someone actually told me I have nice legs! Can you believe that? As long as the skirt is long enough to cover my upper thighs, it looks good lol. You all know what I mean. I don't think I'll ever be ready for a bathing suit, but I do feel so much better about myself. I have to update my pics as I haven't taken any since the weight drop and there is a huge difference. My face looks totally different and so much thinner. Of course now I get those comments how "oh, her face is too thin and drawn". No one ever seems happy so I don't pay attention. Either i'm too fat or too thin, whatever. I feel good and that is what counts, right? My dad keeps telling me how proud he is of me and to take a lot of pictures. He is so paranoid that I will gain the weight back. He keeps telling me, "Don't you dare go back or I'll kill you!" It makes me feel bad that he seems to love me more just because I am thin.
My Depression is getting better. I think it ihas a lot to do with the weight loss and increase in meds. I still have bouts of it, but not nearly as bad as I was, thank God.
Well, I usually don't write unless there has been a change in my body, which is why it seems so long in between posts. I am sure I will go through another plateau now that I dropped another 10 pounds, but now that I know it just takes time and I'm not doing anything wrong, I can be patient,
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Thursday, March 13, 2008 on March 13, 2008 10:49 am
Well, here I am, still at my plateau between 169-172. I feel like I am done losing, yet I still am eating right. I just don't understand. How can I stay the same and eat this healthy, when I stayed the same before and ate anything I wanted? It makes no sense to me. I eat a fraction of what I usred to eat AND I don't eat sweets anymore, which I ate a ton of preop. So, how can I not be losing. The whole reason I got this surgery was because the weight loss was so slow and I could never stick to it that long because I was hungry. But, even with the surgery, it is going so slow.
The other thing is I just don't see the weight loss of 70 pounds. Yes, my clothes are big and I feel thinner, but not thin, far from thin. I am constantly looking at myself in the mirror and squeezing fat here and sucking it in there, trying to see the 70 pounds I lost. But, I still feel fat; I am still a fat person. I don't notice any more attention from men or looks or anything. When I went out with my bf, Kathleen to the bon jovi concert, all the looks still went to her, just like in high school. And, my parents were kind enough to point out that I am not as pretty as she is and still not as skinny as her. I don't notice any more attention from my husband. He is the same as before. Our sex life is the same. I just don't see the changes I had hoped for.
Will I ever like what I see in the mirror? OR, will I always be critical and unhappy with the way I look. I had this surgery to feel better, to feel more confident, more willing to be around people. But, I don't feel that way. I still hide in my apartment and don't go out all week and I am still Depressed. I wish I could just snap out of this. I am never happy. Why can't I ever be happy like other people?
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Hallelujah on March 11, 2008 1:40 pm
LISTEN TO THIS SONG!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=v8jpNiUuwcw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AratTMGrHaQ&feature=related
Hallelujah
I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well, it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well, your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well, baby, I've been here before.
I've seen this room, and I've walked this floor.
I used to live alone before I knew you.
But I've seen your flag on the marble arch,
And love is not a victory march,
It's a cold and it is a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well, there was a time when you'd let me know
What's really going on below,
But now you never show that to me, do you?
But remember when I moved in you,
And the Holy Ghost was moving too,
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well, maybe there is a God above,
But all that I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you.
It's not a cry that you hear at night,
And it is not somebody who has seen the light
It's a cold and it is a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
March 9, 2008 on March 9, 2008 2:16 pm
Hello There,
Wow, I really need to start writing in here more often. Time just seems to go by so fast! Last night I went to see Bon Jovi and Daughtry at the Mohegan Casino with my hubby, best friend and her hubby. It was such a blast!!! We haven't been out with another couple in a long time. It was nice to get dressed up at my new weight. For once, I wasn't dreading trying to find something to wear. I actually was happy with the way I looked; imagine that! I even discovered that I actually have collarbones! Now that is exciting lol.
Anyhow, my parents were there gambling and we stopped to say hello and get the tickets from them. The next day, my parents call to see how the concert was and their comments pissed me off so bad. I can't believe they think what they said was a compliment in any way shape or form. They were like "Oh, you look good. You are almost as pretty as your friend now" and "Well, you are not as skinny as she is yet!" or how about just the fact that they went on and on about how gorgeous she was and made me feel like second best, which is how I felt all my life with this friend. All the guys I ever liked liked her and not me. And to have my own parents say that is so annoying.
My whole life they have been making hurtful comments like that about my weight, which I already felt self fonnscious of.. I swear they do not think before they talk.! Then, if iI try to stick up for myself and tell them that it hurts my feelings, they tell me I am dramatic and overly sensitive. That is why I don't even bother. I try not to let it get to me (I should be used to it by now), but it always does. I posted about it in the main forum and all my friends at OH made me feel so much better. I am so fortunate to have you all here. I am very grateful.
As far as weight loss goes, I am at a stand still going on 5 weeks at 169. I can't wait until the scale starts moving again. I just got my elliptical machine this week, so maybe if I step up the exercise, the scale will finally move.
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