This has been by far the BEST part of being banded! I gained a TON of weight with my first pregnancy 6 years ago. Right now I'm 14 weeks 3 days and my scale still says 4 pounds below what I weighed when I first found out I was pregnant!! I'm confident I'll be able to keep my weight gain under control this time! Even with my band being at 3cc.

I think that because my eating habits changed so much after surgery (7 months as a bandster pre-conception), that now eating right is fairly easy. My appetite is minimal and I don't get many cravings.

As a side note... my DH makes me both incredibly proud and disgusted. He just started training for a half marathon he will do Thanksgiving morning. The most he's ever done was a 6 mile road race (the Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta on July 4th). He didn't train at all for that one... just went out and ran 6 miles like he was taking a walk through the park. He isn't an avid exerciser. He'll occasionally get on the treadmill and run for 45 minutes or so but that's it. Last night he ran 10 stinkin miles without stopping. Granted, he's feeling it today... but still. At my peak physical fitness I couldn't run one mile, much less 10! 

So... I'm still alive and loving life as a thinner, healthier, pregnant bandster.

**deep inhale**

It's like a drug. It feels so good. If I didn't know better, I'd love it. I gave my $$ and debit card to DH, so I can't do anything too stupid. I forgot to eat until about an hour ago when I started to feel sick. I've organized three closets. I conned DH into letting me sell at my friends kids consignment sale, so I'll be deeply engrossed with organizing, counting, digging through DDs old stuff, running around the house amok, etc. At least I'll burn a bunch of calories.

I'm going to see DHs family tomorrow. We're supposed to go on his aunts boat. For once I won't be ashamed to wear a swimsuit in front of his family. They haven't seen me in a while... so I'm sure I'll go through that 30 minutes of Oooohhh's and Aaaahhh's that is, to be honest, a bit annoying. Pat me on the back, say good job, and be done with it.

DH gave me a $100 Kohls giftcard for my birthday. I got so many cute dresses along other things.... all from the JUNIORS SECTION!!! Size XL... but still!! Size XL in the juniors department is a lot different than the womens section. I feel great wearing them. I'm a comfortable size 16 right now, but I'm very well porportioned, curvy in all the right places, so IMO I'm lookin good if I do say so myself. I feel great in the dresses. DH loves the way I look in them.

Back to running around the house digging through closets!! 

<3 Amanda

I'm going to get a fill this afternoon. I ate a whole tilapia filet for lunch plus about another oz that I brought for my friend to try. Maybe my problem all along has been that I *think* have restriction but really I'm just eating too much (@ 1200-1400 cals.... dropped it down to 800 per doc last Friday and have been hungry since!). So wish me luck! I think it's a combination of both eating too much and losing some restriction because I swear before I had better restriction than this, I would have been struggling to eat one piece of fish, much less the whole thing plus some with room for more.

Preface- for those who aren't familiar with my situation, I haven't lost anything in 6 weeks. I have done everything you can imagine to get things moving again. All I can do is continue to try new things until I find something that works.

* Perseverance-- A virtue I have improved upon tremendously. I have learned to press on and continue doing the right things despite the fact that it doesn't look like I'm moving forward. I AM moving forward. I am starting to learn that this journey is about more than just the number on the scale. This journey has effected every aspect of my life and being... in a positive way. Perseverance has kept me going. I have had my moments of doubt, but I have overcome them. I *know* things will happen the way I want them to... and strong will and perseverance will help get me there.

* Patience-- I still need to work on patience in other aspects of my life, but I have learned to be patient with my body and the scale. I have learned that TIME isn't everything. The TIME it takes to GET to my destination isn't what's most important, it isn't even important at all. What IS important is the journey. Let time be time.... and go by in whatever fashion it so chooses... I will continue to take this journey one day at a time. I will NOT let my mind be bogged down by thoughts of how long it is taking. Each day is a blessing. I am learning to treat it as such.

* Strength-- I will no longer be a slave to the scale. The scale is not my supervisor. I do not answer to it. I will not allow it to determine my mood from day to day. I am in charge of myself. I feel like I have become stronger personally because I have learned how to be my own boss and decide my destiny. I have put MY needs first for once. I have said "To hell with chores, I'm working out for an hour because I KNOW it is what MUST be done in order for me to reach my goals!" I have put my foot down. No more will I let anything stand between me and my goals. I have made my journey my priority and everything that comes along with it.

* Understanding-- I understand that this isn't a smooth road that's been paved for me. It's a jungle and it's up to me to carve out my own path. I fully understand that this is never going to be easy. I fully understand that it's crucial to take this one day at a time. Forget about dates, deadlines, etc. Those things have gotten me nowhere. Every day I must get out of bed with a fresh positive attitude and do everything that's necessary for me to be successful... everything, EVERY day.

* Physical fitness-- I'm really happy about this, but it seems minuscule compared to the previously mentioned. I've become an exercise junkie. I have made exercise my top priority. I don't care what does or doesn't get done around the house, what errand gets put off for tomorrow, who's call I miss, etc etc etc..... Exercise comes first! Exercise is what's going to get me to goal. I feel physically so much better since I started exercising very regularly (like 6 days a week). I feel toned. I feel thinner! I feel stronger. I am so proud of myself for sticking to this commitment.

My personal growth in the last 6 weeks has been very beneficial. I truly almost feel like NOT losing has been a blessing, because it has helped me learn so much... things that I probably wouldn't have learned had I continued to lose at a normal weight. I am not fighting a battle against myself. I'm fighting FOR myself. By taking things one day at a time (which I WILL and already do), I am setting myself up for success. Not only will these things lead me to where I want to be, but they will insure that I STAY where I want to be. This is helping me learn how to make long term lifestyle changes. I feel like my interest in physical fitness is strong and will continue to be strong long after I reach my weight goal. Ultimately, I want to be really physically fit. So many people get complacent with where they are. It saddens me to see peoples tickers with BMIs set high. Some people have their goal weight in the "overweight" category. Super obese or not, set your standards high, gain perseverance, and you WILL reach your goals. I want to look in the mirror and see myself as FIT! I don't want to be a soft, mushy 140lb woman. I want to be a tight, firm, 130-140lb woman! It has taken a lot for me to gain the willpower to do all of these things, but it's soooo worth it. I am so happy that I don't absolutely dread working out. I actually look forward to it.

My current fave quotes-

"When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. "

"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday."

"The world does not bother working at becoming, it just says "I’ll try." "Try" implies an unconscious disbelief in your freedom; it admits and presupposes an obstacle or an unnecessary condition. Trying is just "belief in," not a knowing faith. The subconscious feeds a "trying" attitude and lulls your conscious mind. Doing transcends trying."

And my absolute favorite (it holds a lot of meaning to my current circumstances)--

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it.  The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. "

I've been feeling "thin" lately (I put that in quotes, because lets face it, I'm NOT thin lol). I decided to measure myself this morning. 38" waist. I logged into sparkpeople.... my last weigh/measure in was 4/25.... 39" waist 205lbs (I don't measure anything else, although I should and keep meaning to start... DOH!). So despite the fact that I've been plateaued, I've lost 1" in my waist!

I feel like I've lost recently.... so it could be that... but I'm just glad something is moving! I get to weigh myself Friday, it'll be the first time in over a week. That's a record for me LOL.

The next NSV I'm reaching for is to wear size 14. This will be the first time since before my DD was born almost 6 years ago! I got down to a 16 in a previous weight loss attempt, and pre surgery I was busting the seams of my 18s and wearing mostly 20s and even some 22s. I'm wearing a 16 comfortably now. I wonder how long until I'll be able to wear a 14? I guess I'll have to stop at goodwill and get me a pair to try on from time to time!