October 17 2011

Oct 17, 2011

This will be sorta short. I have to get to bed soon - 5AM wakeup for 6:30 registration for gall bladder ultrasound, chest xray, and bloodwork. See if I can get them all in before work. 

I am SO gonna need coffee tomorrow!

I've been journaling my questions for the surgeon. I don't know. I feel like I'm getting nervous already about complications. My brother calls me the world's worst patient because I'm a glass-half-empty person when it comes to my health. I know that I want to have a VSG because I need another tool to help me change my life. I think the permanency of it is just starting to hit me, though. Like.....most of my stomach is going to be GONE. There's no getting it back. Once it hits....it's a scary thought. 

It might be time for me to make a list of pros/cons because I need to be absolutely sure I have 100% faith and confidence in my ability to follow through to make this sleeve work the best it can for me.

I've been extending my support network. I have talked to my parents, my aunt, my brother...and those are the only family members I plan on telling prior to surgery. I talked to 3 of the teachers I work with closely because the timeline will affect how I get paperwork to them. I'm beginning to plan ahead and make sure I have everything in order with them. I have a very very close friend with whom I go to the gym. It's hard to gauge her reaction. I know she struggles with her weight and she's slowly losing through diet and exercise. I think she and I are going to have to sit down and have a heart to heart. She's one of my closest friends. I'll need her support. I also spoke to our school counselor as a multiple viewpoint - administrative, coworker, friend, and mental health professional. She's so excited for me. I think she's way more excited than I am at this point - hard to believe! We talked for almost a half an hour while waiting for a meeting that never arrived...it helped. So, slowly, I'm branching out my support network. I have a few more friends I want to tell...and then waiting until my surgeon's appointment to tell my administrators. If I can have this surgery when I'm thinking I can, I may only wind up with 8.5 days off from work, but 3 weeks of recovery time. The miracles of the end of the year! 

That's it for now....I'm exhausted. My friend and I did my gym routine today and it kicked her butt too! I feel like I got a great workout and I feel it, but I don't feel like I'm unable to move. I'm not totally achy...but oh my goodness I have NO bicep muscles!!!  

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