Tina Mendonca
A fight over MY boobs...really!?
Apr 19, 2011
I never thought this would happen. My husband and I had a huge fight for almost 2 days about my boobs. Yes, my boobs! I asked his opinion about the inserts for my bra. He said it was a loaded question and that he couldn't answer it without me getting mad! OMG! I've never asked him "Babe, does my butt look big in these jeans?" NEVER! I knew the answer, so why ask. I didn't even like my butt in those jeans! But this time I wanted to hear it from him. "What do you think about me getting boob inserts?" I get an attitude sounding "Why? Who do you need to impress?" Geez! If men had PMS this is what it would look like! I told him very calmly what I was feeling and experiencing because I trust my husband and he has been supportive of my surgery. Never once did I feel like I couldn't talk to him about any of this kind of stuff. I heard insecurity in his voice and worry..worry that I have lost too much too quick and that my body is still changing why do I want to go out and make a purchase like that! Well, cuz I feel like crap and tired of hearing "when are you gonna put some meat on your bones?" (from my father-in-law) Or the playful smack on the butt from my husband, followed by " Dang, you're butt bone hurt my hand!" It never bothered me before, but to sit and tell me I'm boney upsets me now. So now I have thin, stringy SHORT hair, no boobs, a little butt and NOW I"M TOO boney. So you see why this lasted 2 days!?Well, I made a decision NOT to talk to him about my boobs or my butt or my hair and just deal with it on here. To him he heard that I was unhappy with my decision to have RNY and that I'm regretting it....TOTALLY WRONG! He tells me that I make poor decisions and never follow through...So let's see...I was going to school to become a Nurse and due to cut backs I couldn't get into a Nursing program right away...then they close the waiting list FOR the waiting list. I stayed a CNA and got injured on the job. So I was on workman's comp for a while. I then found out I was pregnant while on worker's comp and then no doctor would touch me. After I had that child 3-4 months later I find out that I'm pregnant again! So no working for me cuz I haven't rehabilitated myself. Then here we go:
After the birth of our 1st son (my 2nd) I had a temp of 105 and went to the ER. I had:
1. Double mastitis (double boob infection)
2. Vaginitis ( from when I teared during the delivery.)
3. UTI (from the catheter (I had an epidural)
I stayed in bed for a week at home resting and caring for my infant son. (Dec 2007)
During my 3rd pregnancy I went in to L and D becasue I thought I was having the baby early and it turned out to be a kidney stone that I passed while I was being worked up. That was Oct 2008
Had Chris Nov 2008
Feb 2009 went to the ER with bad stomach pains, throwing up, chest pains and a fever. Ended up needing an emergency gallbladder surgery. Stayed in the hospital for 2-3 days.
April 2009 went to Urgent care cuz my hubby didn't want another ER bill. I hated going anywhere else cuz some of these places don't sit well with me. But to avoid an argument I go. He drops me off and then goes home to get the boys who the teenager is watching. Before I get off the car my hubby tells me "make sure if something happens, don't let them take you in the ambulance...I'll come get you." I thought it was wierd and laughed it off. I was fighting a real bad cold and had been having headaches everyday for 3 weeks and had a temp of 104. Something wasn't right. I get called in and they take my vitals and come back in to retake my BP standing up...? So I stand up and next thing you know I'm on top of this tiny Medical assistant ( I was already 260 lbs!) I then wake up with IVs in my arm. I hear a nurse fighting with my hubby on the phone and says that an ambulance is on it's way to take me to the hospital and that I'm not responding and very confused. I get to a hospital I don't like and spend a week from hell there. I was almost given medication that I was allergic to, but my hubby stopped them and had it out with the nurse. I was then on Morphine and a high dose at that. I don't know what happened the 1st 3 days there. Turns out I had pneumonia and a sever sinus infection. The rest of the stay was still hell and took forever to get home. I was traumatized by their care. I held that against my hubby for a long time. I blamed him. If I went to the ER at the hospital I liked maybe things would've been different.
We then house hunt and move from Modesto to Merced in July 2009.
Feb 2010: abdominal pain...numerous trips to the ER with no finding and have a colonoscopy and had 2 pulops removed. No cancer, thank God!
Had RNY June 2010
Emergency surgery for ovarian Cyst removal. I had pain for a very long time and couldn't function.
Then this damn mystery headaches Just discovered that it was a bad infection in my tooth and that I am Hypoglycemic!
So now let's take a look.... All of the above has happened...why haven't I finished school or followwed through on anything? Hmmmmm! It's a miracle I'm even still alive....I don't complete things!!! BULLSHIT!!!!! Excuse me, but that was the most rediculous thing I heard come out of my husband's mouth...really!? I tried Kaplan online classes and ended up with a $5,000 bill for school after only 2 semeters! Yeah, that wasn't a great move on my part...not know all the details about what was covered and not, but I did have a 4.0 GPA.
SO....a pair of slicone inserts makes me 'show my true colors'? WTF was that? I'm happy with my surgery, I'm starting to get better and just want my freakin' chest to look like I still have boobs! I wanted to resenmble a woman again! I wasn't asking for plastic surgery or ask for him to get a 2nd job so I can get boobs! Me being unhappy about my boobs right now has nothing to do with him. I know he still loves me and my body and that I look different, but why do we have to fight 2 days about my boobs? I want them and when I can, I will buy them FOR ME!!!!! I have never asked him a question and then got pissed because of his answer...I always take it into cinsideration and think what I will do next.
And just because I am a housewife it doesn't mean that I don't need a break for an hour or 2....Take the kids to the park and let me have some peace a quiet! I still have to clean this house and need to be alone so I can can get things done with NO INTERRUPTIONS....Help out homeboy! By no means that means I don't want to spend time with my family. Nooooo, it was interpretted that because I got a diaper bag and snacks ready for him I was telling him that he didn't know how to be a father and the fact that I sent the teenager with him to help him with 2 small boys at a park, it was as if I said he was incompetant and couldn't hang! Well, next time he's on his own...if they poop and have no spare clothes good luck on getting them in their carseat without getting shit all over the place. And when they are grumpy and hungry and have no snacks or juice on hand don't yell at them!
Geez I needed to vent more than I thought! So all of this happened because of my non existant boobs! God help me!
12 Comments
About Me
Merced, CA
Location
25.2
BMI
Surgery
06/23/2010
Surgery Date
Jun 28, 2010
Member Since
