The Beginning of a Dream

Apr 26, 2010

I went to my education class last Thursday, April 22, and was given hope and I haven't had hope in a very long time.  I know this won't be easy, but I know deep in my soul that it will be worth it.  I have three of my appointments made already.  I haven't had soda in the house since Thursday and was drinking about 4 liters a day.  I am now down to 24 ounces a day.  

I walked a quarter mile yesterday and today.  I know it doesn't sound like much but when you have 33.5 inch thighs and COPD it's hard to walk.  I plan on walking every day to build my lung power and build some stamina of some sort.  

I also started my food diary at livestrong.com on myplate.  It feels great to be in control.  

I have no doubt that I'll be approved as long as I pass the pulmonary part of the process.  I'm not on oxygen in the day time but I am at night with a bipap machine.  I'm not sure if I should be on oxygen in the daytime or if all people 165 pounds overweight get out of breath walking around the house.  My doctor diagnosed me with COPD two years ago while having bronchitis.  I blew at 67 percent, but he never sent me to a pulmonary doctor and has never checked my level since.  

I'm feeling very proud of myself.  I'm feeling as though a dream is going to come true and that I won't make my gorgeous husband a widow anytime soon, God willing :)

My sister comes from Denver friday to North Carolina to watch my husband and I have our 10th anniversary wedding.  I only wish I was at goal.  I hope my back can hold me up while I stand at the alter.  I'm thankful for a husband who loves me unconditionally and is so supportive and I'm at ecstatic at the thought that he will see the person waiting to come out.  I believe, if approved, it is definitely within my reach.  

I'm chewing my food slower and waiting 30 minutes after meals to drink and I like EAS Advantage protein drinks as well as the Carnation Breakfast drinks.  I want to incorporate as many habits now as I can to make the transition into my new lifestyle as easy as possible.  My main concern at this point is taking my many, many medications post-op without vomiting if I really have to crush them or chew them.  I called the pharmacy today and none are available in liquid.  

I have an incredible support system and give much credit to my husband, John,  first and foremost, and to my best friend of 30 years, Jackie (justjackie), who had the courage to do this six months ago and has lost a total of 150 lbs.  I don't think I'd even be this far had it not been for her.  She calls me everyday and encourages me every step of the way.  My husband is as ecstatic as I am and he makes it that much more exciting for me.  

I started writing a book a few years ago and didn't get too far called "Livin' on a Prayer."  It is about living with depression and bipolar disorder.  I am adding chapters about dealing with obesity and food.  I will be writing about food and me in the near future so that I can address those concerns as well.

Finally, I am going back to TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) on May 20th and hope to eventually win a state competition.  Just another dream I have....

I know dreams come true because of the man I'm about to marry again.  I get to marry the man of my dreams for the second time on May 8th.  I am truly a blessed woman.

What a great day!

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