lovey063
Back Again!
Apr 23, 2011
Hello again!I forgot to look at the date on my last post, but it's been a while! I just wanted to get away from all the RNY stuff - I was tired of it being such a focus. And... I had a little boy in 2003 that has had many health issues which have, this year, just settled down and we matter-of-factly deal with them now. Those are my reasons for getting away from here, but the truth probably is that I gave up a bit on me and took care of everything/everyone but me. I'm 47 yrs old and starting to feel it (and older) big time. I played basketball with my oldest son, his friend & father and for three days afterwards I felt horrible, JUST HORRIBLE!!! Well, I know I should not have played in Crocs, but that was what I was wearing - and I just HAD to play - so I'm sure that played a part in my post-game pain, but I know it was mostly because of all the weight I've put on. I have not been able to get below 200 lbs to save my soul!!! And when I got close to 200 pounds I became anxious and self defeating. The last time I remember being in the 190s I really felt good about myself, was in a profession with a lot of males and got a lot of attention and I loved it!! While I don't want to go back there (I'm married with two boys now and not interested in shopping around if you know what I mean!) I would like to feel good like that again. So I have a lot of changes coming up in my life and I'd like to make getting healthier one of them.
The other big change is... I'm going back to work after a 12 year lapse. So in order to do that I have to go back to school for a semester to renew my nursing license. I'm very scared about this as I have two, or rather 3 things working against me... #1 My age and I'm premenopausal so my brain is mush or even absent at times, #2 I have a learning disability and school is tough for me - I have to put a LOT of effort into it - much more than the "normal" student, and #3 Kids, husband - that's at work a lot (24hr shifts), a dog ;-) and a house with all that goes with that. So I have a lot of stress coming up and don't have a healthy way of dealing with my food issues. I can't afford to gain any more weight. Even tho I've had a RNY I've managed to gain about 50-60 lbs. I'm hoping that with all I'll have to do that it will leave me with little time to focus on or obsess about food. That's the idea, but I have been wrong before and secretly I don't think this will help me with my food issues, but instead magnify them.
So I'm looking into ways to support a healthier relationship with food or rather to end the relationship period!! I probably need to find a therapist or go back to my old one. Maybe join an OA group. Get more active on here at OH. And I need to GET ACTIVE, EXERCISE, even if it's just walking on a regular schedule.
I've updated my profile here, added my measurements & weight and am using the resources here on this site. Hopefully I can do this this time. Actually, I am suppose to say I WILL DO THIS THIS TIME!! Wish me luck and please say a prayer for HIS strength to carry me. Bye for now.
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About Me
Bowie, MD
Location
39.1
BMI
Surgery
07/06/2006
Surgery Date
Mar 10, 2005
Member Since
