I am at my wits end!!!!

Sep 29, 2011

Hopefully I will feel better after posting (even if no one reads).  My surgeon has me dangling on the high wire and yes, some of it is my own fault.  In my original consultation back in April, I had discussed bypass as my surgical option.  During my months of documented weight loss I began to read more about the sleeve and actually thought it was a nice compromise between lap band/vsg.  After an insurance approval for WLS (no specific procedure approved) I had my pre-op with the surgeon and I told her that I wanted to do sleeve and she was fine although she reminded me of the difference.  Well, low and behold my insurance (BCBS fed) will not approve me for the sleeve.  I guess they want a boat load of co-morbidities and a higher BMI (seriously??).  So, I told the PA that I was fine with bypass.  Surgeon called me on Monday to say she was not comfortable with performing surgery on me (Which is scheduled for OCTOBER 6TH!!!!) because she thinks I am "settling" with the sleeve because of insurance.  She wanted me to write her a letter addressing the issue of my understanding of the procedure and see the nutritionist again (both of which were done yesterday).  Am I settling?  In some respect I guess I am BUT I completely understand what I am getting myself in to.  So here I sit today with phone in hand WAITING for her to call me to say okay.  Now I'm asking myself... why am I begging this woman to cut my stomach and reroute my intestine if she's not "in to it".  I cannot think of anything else.  Nutrition and psych are 100% on board and say that I have "graduated" with flying colors and understand the bypass.  I have never felt so vulnerable and out of control.  I really need an answer so I can either have the surgery or move on to a new surgeon.  This just feeds in to my control issues - I have absolutely none.  I have done everything I needed to and now I am at someone else's mercy.

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