Everything is finally in place! Got the call today- my surgery will be Jan 29 2013 at 09:30 am!!!! I cried when I got the news, I am so happy/relieved/anxious/nervous about this whole thing!

Tried to tell a few close friends today, and I am kinda upset because no one has returned my message! I know life happens, but this is such a huge event in my life, that I wish others could be/get as excited about it as I am. Even my husband had a lackluster response to the news. C'mon guys! All I am asking for is a hug, a "congratulations, I am so excited for you" ANYTHING! Well, I suppose that is neither here nor there. I blocked off my vacation days I will need to recover at work. I figure I will take off until the 11th of Feb for now, and I can always extend that or go back early if I get super bored.

I feel like a huge bag of stress has been lifted from my life. Thankfully now I can get into the Christmas spirit and start my last year of baking, and big dinner preps for the family. Just going to enjoy life and have fun! I do need to continue to research and eventually order my vitamins I will need for the rest of my life. Glad that I can get the B-12 shot each month at the NBHC here for free.

Oh, yeah, I go in for my pre-op testing at the hospital on Jan 15 2013 as well as start my 2-week liquid diet that day as well. The program that my surgeon follows is: 3 100-110 calorie shakes with at least 17 grams of protein each as well as a lean cuisine sized meal each day for the diet along with at least 64 oz water. We can use Mio or Crystal Light, but I have gotten used to drinking my water. I am stocked up on a bunch of different protein powders and pre-made drinks, so I think I will be good. Then the day before surgery, 4 shakes and water and that is it.

I am excited and happy and could not wait to share the news! Now to get some rest-crap, forgot to clean my CPAP! lol

Had a little bump in the whole process at the start of November. When my surgeon submitted everything to Tricare, they came back and said I needed to have an endoscopy with biopsy of the H. Pylori for peptic ulcer syndrome. WTF? Both my surgeon and my PCM had no idea where this was coming from and what ensued was a week of cajoling with the insurance company. I finally managed to get in touch with my actual case manager, and she said that whoever had told us that was giving the wrong information! What they needed to approve was a blood serum test! So that same day I went and had my blood drawn, and a week later (yesterday, to be exact) the results came back! My PCM faxed it to my surgeon who got in touch with my case manager, who then called me at about 6:30 last night to give me the good news that she had approved my surgery!!!! So now I am just biding my time this morning until I can call the surgeons office and reschedule everything and get a set date! I am so happy that everything is done and nothing is in the way of me starting my new life!

Well, a little less actually! Things here have been just cray-cray (as my teenage daughter would tell you)! I have had so many different doctor's appointments and exams that it felt never ending. First, I had to do the sleep study thing. Went for the first one, and of course, got called back in for a second time to be watched as I used a CPAP. What a difference! When I had my appointment with the expert, I was amazed at what i was and wasn't doing at night. The thing that scared me the most was when he told me that my O2 saturation got down to 74 at night and I was waking up 35 times an hour (read: not breathing). No wonder I have been so tired for so long! My poor body was not getting the rest that it so desperately needed! After getting my CPAP, it has been night and day! I wake up early, with energy and have not felt like taking a nap once! Just another reason why this surgery is a long time coming.

So once we got the whole sleep apnea thing out of the way, it was off to do my psychological evaluation. All kidding aside, I was nervous for no real reason other than the fact that I think going into a shrink's office freaks most people out! She was so nice, and made me feel at ease. We talked a bit (I only teared up a few times) and she said that I expressed myself well and that she would give the OK for the surgery! I have been thinking since then on if I want to start going in to see someone regularly. I know many people that do, and I don't think it would be a bad thing. I am still pondering that idea for now, and we shall see.

The final hurdle for me to jump was the pre-op physical with my primary doctor. It was going fine until I had the EKG done. He did not like what he saw and said that he needed me to go over to see the internist before he would sign off on my surgery. OH BOY! You could here my sigh for miles around. 3 days later I was getting another EKG at the internist's office. Yes, my heart is weird. Let the jokes commence! I have since forgotten the technical term used, but basically, the electronic signal that my heart emits diminishes when traveling from my left to right ventricle. Nothing to worry about, as I have no signs or other symptoms, no family history, and I pretty much have unknowingly been living with this for he thinks at least half my life. I eventually go the OK for surgery with the instructions that if I ever show any symptoms that I will get my butt back in to see him. Roger that!

Now I am sitting here, trying really hard not to check my insurance website every five minutes to find out the status of my authorization! The packet was just sent in 5 days ago, and 3 of them were a holiday weekend! I have been limiting myself to once in the morning and once at night. So far it is showing "in process". Think I might do a happy dance once it switches to the green lettered "Approved". If it gets approved quickly (read: by the end of the week) I will most likely be having surgery the first week in December. My tentative date is December 3rd, so that is what I have been telling those in the know. I am sure it might change slightly, and that is fine by me. I am still trying to get my house in order so that the kids and hubby will be all set with me out of commission for a week or so. We are doing Thanksgiving a week early, as it looks like I will be starting my liquid two-week diet the week of Thanksgiving, and I want just one more roasted turkey with all the fixin's before I say goodbye to my old habits and hello to all my new ones.

Searching for vitamins now, too. There are so many out there and of course everyone and thier mother wants to give you advise, even if it is so wrong you want to slap them! Ideally I would like to have a month supply in house before the big day. Any tips? lol

Well, I am going to finish my Trader Joe's Candy Cane Green tea (decaf, of course) and head on to bed. Lots of laundry to do in the morning!

Can't believe that it has been that long since I really got moving on this journey. It feels like a lifetime ago. I have seen my PCM, and he sent in my referral to the surgeon! That was the highlight of my month, to be honest. He also drew a baseline panel of blood work on me, and sort of eased my fear about my knees. He said he does not believe at this time that I have osteoarthritis, but that I have patella facitis (also called jumper's knee). So continuing on the Naproxen until after surgery, and he will re-evaluate then.
We were also lucky to get in to the monthly seminar for the surgeon up in RI. A three hour long information session, and man I am sure it scared hubby to bits (they even showed video of a lap bypass he did). One of my dear friends was also able to attend, and was glad because she has actually chosen one of the surgeons to take over her follow on care! I am confident in my decision of surgeon, and cannot wait until my first appointment with him at the end of August.
Last week was my #2 visit to the base dietitian. One more before she puts in my referral for the psych eval, joy. Doing my best to track/log food with my fitness pal apps. 21 days for a habit to form but just doing it that many days in a row is a struggle right now, but I know I need to make it my priority. Next appointment with her is scheduled for September 14th, so more news to follow with that.
So far now I have been to two support group meetings. The first one was rough. I felt out of place, embarrassed and alone(even though I even took along a friend for support). The second meeting was much better. I felt able to chat it up prior to the meeting with others who came in early, was able to empathize with storied more, and was more vocal about questions and feeling I have been having. Also was very touched that the couple sitting next to me handed me their contact information and told me to call anytime I needed too! Almost made me cry! Another group member was very nice and eased my anxiety about the psych eval by loaning me her report from pre-surgery(over four years ago for her) I was deeply touched and astonished at the kindness and generosity of these people, and am genuinely looking forward to going to next month's meeting.
Fears this month: still having the recurring nightmare that I have the surgery and wake up the next day fatter than what I went in as. I am also struggling right now with feelings as whether or not I should inform my father of my decision to have surgery this weekend. I say this because at first I didn't want to let anyone know until after surgery was done. However, my dad is coming up this weekend to drop my daughter off from her summer vacation with him, and it will be the last time i physically see him before surgery. I don't want to lie, and I am by no means ashamed, but I regret to say that I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that I am obese. Embarrassed I couldn't be the "ideal" daughter for him, or look like I did when I was younger. I know he is not embarrassed of me, but I also know he worries and wants me to be healthy. It is going to be a long conversation tonight with the husband, deciding on what to do.
More to come later, still getting up the nerve to take pictures of me at this weight. We shall see!

 Had my first meeting with my dietitian today! Was very surprised at how nice it was! Usually, in my experience, 'health nuts' and me don't mesh well. Of course, I always sit there thinking "What do they know about trying to lose weight? They have never been an OUNCE overweight in their life!". That was not the case, to my delight today. Jennifer Back is wonderful and I am so glad of the talk we had. She gave me great ideas and things to think about, and I am actually a *tiny* bit excited to go back next month!
What I have to focus on: tracking my food. UGH! I have always hated this. However, so far today (and I know, it's only the first 12 hours! lol) it has been simple. I am using an app and site that she recommended to me: myfitnesspal. I can use it on-line or on the go, so it fits my lifestyle. I don't have to worry about where I am going to store the journal (since its virtual) and she let me know that at my next appointment, she can log in and have my stats transferred right to my record! Sa-Weet!
Time will tell if I can keep his positive beat alive, but I am hoping too!
Also got signed up for the local support group. They meet the 2nd Wednesday of each month, so next week I will be there with bells on! Have to say I am a little nervous, as I am not a social butterfly and hate being in a new situation. Hoping to talk my BFF (22 years post R-n-Y) to come along with me for moral support, we shall see how that goes!
Called Yale to get the information packet as directed. Blah. I am not so hyped on Yale. I know that they are a CoE and have very loyal and high reviews. I am hoping they will call me back so I can sign up for an information session to get a true feel of the practice. I am however, already signed up for the Rhode Island Surgeons session on August 8th with Dr. Pohl. They were very easy to get ahold of and to get the information I wanted. Too early to say which way I will go, my biggest thing is how comfortable I feel with the DOC. Both places are very highly regarded, equidistant from my home, and both network providers for my insurance, so we shall see!
Also was told looking at a winter surgery, thanksgiving Christmas time frame. Oh what a wonderful gift it would be! It would be great to start the New Year with a bang! And to be able to have fun next summer, instead of making excuses to my girls about why we can't go to Six Flags or the beach all the time! Those are the NSV's that I am looking forward to!
Decided I will write once a week, unless I have super special things to share that just. can't. wait.
Peace out!