I CAN DEAL ... IN SPITE OF....

Mar 29, 2010

Whether my world falls apart or is exhilarating happy ... I hold myself in REMEMBRANCE ....

Thirteen days ago my whole world was falling apart as I sat in the waiting room in the OR area wondering if at the end of the day my Dhs foot would be totally amputated or not ... the wait was stressful ... I thought I died a million times as I believe the worse case scenario was playing itself out ... but I was able to deal ... I dealt with my emotions, with my fear, with my possibly altered life style and I did with with the encouragement of my friends here and IRL ... people who reached out with kind words of support and encouragement in my time of great need for support... I dealt with all the emotions and never once did the want, need, or thought of reaching out for that extra snack or food for comfort entered my mind ...

Today I look back at 3 years 2 months post weight loss surgery and each and every day I hold myself in remembrance... in remembrance of the place of 5 co-morbidities that no longer exist ... in remembrance of the woman who could not get up a flight of stairs to assist her daughter who had taken a fall ... in remembrance of snoring sooooooooo loudly as to wake up the entire house ... in remembrance of walking to meetings experiencing chest pains as I tried to keep stride with my healthier co-workers ... in remembrance of taking up two seats and annoying the person next to me ... in remembrance of how I felt and how I dealt when FOOD was my very best friend in my time of need ... if I cried I ate, if I was happy I ate, if I was sad I ate, if I was celebrating I ate and I ate and I ate, if I was hungry I ate and if I was NOT hungry I ate ... FOOD was in control of me ... a total FOOD ADDICT who is in recovery for LIFE ... dat's me...

Three years ... two months post weight loss surgery ... Over fifty and being asked if my daughter is my sister ...
Three years ... two months post weight loss surgery ... I can run a 10K and am ready to tackle a 20...I zumba, and swim, and run, and jog, and kickbox and box ... do yoga Bikram or regular ... weights and exercise...
Three years ... two months post weight loss surgery...  I HAVE KEPT IT ALL OFF AND THEN SOME AND I CHOSE NOT TO RETURN...
Three years ... two months post weight loss surgery ... I can deal with sadness and happiness with anger and pain with life and with issues without reaching for food to comfort me ... I DEAL

This is my remembrance collage ... I am who I am ... fat or thin ... I have HEALTH AND MOBILITY and that is more than enough for me ... I am in control of my choices and determined NOT to wear what I eat ... I am not boastful ... I am paying it forward ... because today instead of overeating I can deal ... with a good word... an act of kindness ... of holding myself in remembrance of me.... and most of ALL I can deal ... with a little help from my friends ... here and IRL ...

Thanking Amy, LeaAnn, Dirtbikemom, and a host of others and all for all the wonderful threads started and all the encouragement I got from my OH Cyberfamily ... either on threads, calls and PMs ... My DH is at a healthcare facility for physical therapy and gait training and will be there for a few more weeks ... and we are sooooooo grateful for your support and encouragement always...

and as Always I thank my OH family or allowing me to share...

MY YESTERDAY AND MY TODAY

3 years 2 months post WLS ...AND KEEPING IT ALL OFF .. ONE DAY AT A TIME .. I AM SOOOOOOO NOT WEARING FOOD ON MY BODY .. BEEN THERE DONE THAT .. IT IS SOOOOOOOO NOT WORTH IT .. 5 CO-MORBIDITIES BEHIND .. I AM SOOOOOO NOT GOING BACK .. I KNOW WHAT TO DO TO....

Whether my world is falling apart around me or whether I am happy I can celebrate with a smile,a good word, or an act of kindness. I DO NOT NEED TO EAT UNLESS I AM HUNGRY although I chewed my fingernails off while DH had surgery 13 days ago.

Thanks for allowing me to share...
 
MY CUPBOARD IS BARE ... OR SO I THOUGHT!!!!! HI PROTI SUCCULENT RECIPE...

Old Martita went to the cupboard
to fetch herself some grub
but when she got there
the cupboard was bare
but unlike Hubbard's dog
I she decided NOT to "have none"

Can you believe it???? I didn't even find a bone (I am feeling Old Mother Hubbard) ... but I am refusing to have none ... so I am playing my own nursery rhyme out... let me start again

Old Martita went to the cupboard
to fetch herself some grub
but when she got there
the cupboard was bare
but unlike Hubbard's dog
I she decided NOT to "have none

Since DH is hospitalized the cupboard is bare
no food shopping was done I don't have the time to spare
the only thing I could fetch was black kidney beans in a can
some ground Parmesan cheese, sazon for condiment
and butter flavored Pam ...

As I am not slipping meals I went to the fridge
there is very little in there
two sticks of string cheese, fresh cilantro and salsa
otherwise it too was bare...
I opened the freezer and found
a frozen salmon steak who knows
how long it has it been sitting there

I fired up the stove and sprayed the skillet
sauteed the salmon and broke it up with a fork
sprinkled sazon, salsa and added cilantro
and over it poured the black beans out of a can
brought it up to a steam and
sprinkled in Parmesan and over it
went the now unstrung string cheese

I just sat and had a bite
of this most humble meal
it is finger licking good I may add
and now I know what breakfast, lunch and dinner will be...

When life comes at you fast...
and you think you are at wits end...
when you look and think you reserves are dry
and your cupboard like mother Hubbard is bare
and all you have is a can of black beans

Sit down and chillax
take a little bit of this
and a little bit of that
mix it all together
and you'll have more then just a healthy snack

I can't believe I made that up ... woot woot ... hold up ... and it was done in a lickety split....

NOW GET OFF THE SOAPBOX MARTITA AND GET TO GROCERY SHOPPING ... YOU KNOW GOOD AND WELL YOU PUT IT OFF BECAUSE YOU HATE BRINGING THE STUFF IN THE HOUSE AND PUTTING IT AWAY .... NOW IF THE KIDS AND DH WEREN'T AWAY I WOULD NOT BE HAVING THAT PROBLEM BECAUSE I WOULD DELEGATE ...
 

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