martitalinda
I have the best tool yet!!!
Aug 17, 2012
and the best tool is LOVE .... But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is LOVE.Wish me blessings or wish me love ... as I head out with my best friend, my partner, my lover, my bodyguard my bother my better half to once again celebrate with friends the anniversary of our lifetime commitment of love .... it is almost a quarter of a century ...
I married the good Samaritan who knocked on my door that faithful night my children screamed and wept as I was left a bloody mess on the floor ... slipping into darkness but holding on ... God sent me a stranger in the middle of my distress ... I could have died but he got there just in time to get me help...
I married the man who took the brunt of my anger and my frustrations and my bitterness and disappointments all sequelae of my mental distress... sequelae carried on for years as I washed my face and myself compulsively trying to wash off the goriness of rape ... domestic violence ...
Through it all he was my friend and my brother and my bodyguard and when my heart settled to love once again I realized that love was always at my side ... my partner ... my unconditional....
Through the years and life's mischiefs he lost complete function of both his kidneys, the peripheral vision in one eye completely gone, the toes of his feet were amputated and if that was not enough he had a partial foot resection .... through eight years of dialysis I picked up the baton and carried on just like he did for me .... through waiting for a kidney and finally being blessed with a kidney flown all the way from Kentucky on the LifeStar helicopter I was there for him... through again being afflicted with his vascular disease and Charcot foot and multiple fractures needing complete care I am there for him...
So today I walk proud on the arms of my unconditional ... to have dinner with friends and to don another gown on Sunday to get blessings in the house of praise ... because through the sunshine and the rain ... through the good times and the bad times ... I HAVE THE BEST TOOL OF ALL ... I HAVE LOVE .. no matter what it looks like ....
For the amputations there was my hysterectomy .... for the kidney there was my lumpectomy ... for the foot resection there was my stomach resection and my RNY ... hand in hand we travailed together or at separate times he caring for me and I caring for him .... at the end of the day ... he is my family .... the father of my children who are not biologically his ...
At one point a friend suggested I divorce him and just live with him because he is a liability ... I just looked at her and said ...'in sickness and in health ... till death do us part'
It is our anniversary ... I am going to dance, dance, dance and have fun and on Sunday I will say I do all over again ... tonight as they usually do my friends are going to toast to "Dufus and Diva" yesssssss!
He married me fat and in 2008 at our first re-affirmation ceremony he married me thin...
we changed a lot .... I had the pounds and he had an AFRO that later became a FRO and now all that is left is an "O" LOL ... I tease him all the time ... that I can make him an awesome lace toupee at the shop LOL but he loves his 'O"....
SO I am heading out dressed like this and posting while I wait for Al and my friends to pick us up...
I am hating my gown .... I wore it a year ago and for some reason it is too big ... it is and XS but that means nothing I am holding up the bodice with my arms WTH ... no time to fix ... I will plaster some IT STAYS roll on adhesive on my boobs ... that should hold it...
and I am pinning my hair up it is hot ... I am leaving like this...
I love love living and loving and sharing ... and trust I have tons of faults .. I can be a royal PITA and I can be a real biatch too ... but Al ... he is always steady.... and constant ... sometimes it riles me up that I am so ticked and he does not react nor raise his voice even ... I even throw things and tantrums because of it .. and all he says 'babe, what's wrong? calm down' grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr LOL .... and I do calm down ... eventually....
TO keep on Weight Loss Topic though I must share that I had 5 a.m. breakfast with my beautiful OH sista from the BAF board MSW will Not Settle this morning ... and we had FUN ....
I had a strip of bacon .. some bites of eggs... a spoonful or two of oatmeal and I was stuffed ... she had an awesome feta/tomato/egg omelet and after a few bites she was stuffed too ...
so we sat there and had breakfast dessert with the awesome peanut butter fudge protein brownies I made her off the recipe I shared ... SHE LOVED IT!!!....
I love taking pics .... I take a picture a day ... I want to see me keeping the pounds and the inches away ... I track it in a digital journal A PICTURE A DAY KEEPS THE POUNDS AND THE INCHES AWAY.... IT WORKS FOR ME!!!
I got to work at 6:30 am sharp right after breakfast with MSW...
I made a collage the day before too...
and this is me the day before ... Yikes I got stuck in the pink section of my closet.....
I post to keep myself encouraged and maybe to encourage just someone else who may want to read my goofy ramblings... because I am staying away from morbid obesity one.day.at.a.time, one choice at a time ... and I am loving it and having fun on the journey ... a friend once told me ... there is joy and there is misery in equal measures, I choose to embrace joy and let it happen to me - oh misery is there, but I am not letting it in... I have embraced those words since and I let joy happen to me ... even in the midst of chaos...
Thanks for allowing me to share ... SNIPPETS OF MY JOURNEY
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About Me
20.2
BMI
Surgery
02/05/2007
Surgery Date
Feb 01, 2007
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
Before RNY Gastric Bypass 2/5/2007
327lbs
