Paula Deen Loses Not With Surgery of the Bariatric Variety

Mar 01, 2012

I am not saying it.  Google is not suggesting it either.  But you people are.  Just this morning:

There are approximately variations of the same keyword search suggestion in the last day to reach my page here.  So there's that. Y'all wanna know:

 "Did Paula Have The Surgery?!?"  

Teh Surgery.  You know.  That one where they Staple Yer Stomack?  I know someone who done died from that!  I know she done it.

Shut up.  Yes.  All of you.  Shut up.  

It would be most feasible that she had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy or something.  *skips away*  But, I'm not saying that, because I wouldn't have the first indication of it, nor would you. 

Except for the Things She's Tossed Out There To The Media!

Like-

"I have the diabetes!"

We know what can fix you, Ms. Deen, at least for a few years.

I'm eating half-portions!

Of deep-fried cheesecake?  Y U not define this?

"I do not own a scale, I only weigh in at my doctor!"  

We understand that line of thinking, also, ma'am.

"I've dropped two pant sizes and I feel great!" 

Gotcha.  How's that honeymoon feel'n? 

I'm just making a very tiny bet that this will be a long-ish media circus.



 

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