Minayun
Day 21
Aug 15, 2011
Today wasn't the best day. I guess my cravings were just extra strong? My husband, of course, didn't think there was anything in the kitchen to make for dinner and suggested he go to burger king to get him and the kids something and I was trying to tell him, yes we do have things in there to make! But, obviously he just wanted fast food. After I had already been craving everything and anything all day, there was no way i was going to sit in the living room with them while they feasted so I went to my bedroom and closed the door. I felt so very alone in my own home with my own family. It's so weird because before surgery burger king was my least favorite place to eat at but yet today I could have gotten anything on the menu and ate it happily. It must all really be in my head because also before surgery, we ate out all the time and I got so tired of food and nothing really tasted good anymore because we had it all the time. I use to tell myself that I was ready for this surgery because I was literally tired of food. I didn't expect all these cravings still and to be as strong as they are. How I wish I had someone who was going through this, who was here with me, living in my house, eating with me, everyday. It would be so much easier if I didn't feel so alone. I do thank God for my online friends, though because I know it would be so much harder without that support. I know I made the best choice ever by deciding to go through with this surgery. I'm happy for the amount of weight I've lost so far and the best part ever is that my diabetes turned to normal basically overnight. I'm scared, though, that this surgery isn't going to work for me or that everything i've done so far will be for nothing. Everyday I read how hardly anyone has had this surgery and actually kept it off. I don't want to be set up for failure before it's even happened. It's so very sad how much food can affect someones life. I have to have hope that the days will get easier and more "normal". I also have to try my very best to get the rest of my family to eat healthier. That was also my goal from the beginning. I thought it was my husband's, too. Both of my youngest children are getting chunky and protest against eating anything healthy. I love them so much and don't want them heading into the same mess that I went through and am still going through. I hope I can sleep soon. It seems like I can't get myself to fall asleep for anything and when I finally do get there I don't want to wake up. Everything is so much easier when you are asleep.
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About Me
NC
Location
31.0
BMI
Surgery
07/26/2011
Surgery Date
Mar 03, 2011
Member Since
