The new me

Dec 15, 2011

 As of today I ame 198lbs not sure what I posted before but I know it is about 268 when I started this journey.  I do have to say it is very hard to deal with this wt loss. Not only do you have to prioritize your life but you have to change your life style. I still have yet to connect the old me with the new me. I still see myself as plus size. I have not changed as a person and I am still me. Its the other people who have changed towards me.  I have recently noticed that Im hybernating. Isolating myself. I still have the same behaviors as when I was heavy.  Im finding myself gambling or shopping to cope with my anxiety or depression since I cant eat. 
OMG, how I do miss my food. It was my comfort, my friend , it filled my void. It was there when I was bored , happy, sad. Anything you name it. Know I find myself being lonely and depressed with a void. 
I have prayed so much and asked God to help me find something to fill this void. I have turned to my boys and asked them to help me not go to the casino. Its sad that you are not prepared for the wt. loss just the excitement of being skinny. Did I forget to mention the lack of clothing attire. I have lost so much wt. I had no clothes what so ever. My aunt had to buy me a new wardrobe which was awesome but I didnt even know I looked horrible :(. 
Either way, I am in a new path as of today. Accepting my new me, my new life , my new challenges. Its ok to wear tight clothes no one is going to laugh at me. I can sit anywhere. 
Its ok not to eat with friends even if they insist.  I love the new me and I love myself :)
what do you guys think?

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