Time to change

Apr 08, 2013

Hello to anyone reading. This is truly my first ever blog. My name is Krystal, I'm 24 and my research to WLS led me to this site. I need somewhere to express myself where I know I can be understood.

I feel like I have failed my body. The first word that comes to my mind to describe how I feel about my weight is. Pathetic.

A little background: I was one of those "always bigger kids." My parents struggled financially and divorced when I was 5. I was aloud to drink whatever was in the fridge (like soda and sweet tea, juice, etc) without ever being told that it was bad for me until I was taking a nutritional class of some sort. When I ate dinner I was told "finish your meal" because otherwise money was being wasted. A huge part of me wants to blame my parents for my Obesity. But then I feel guilty for trying to point the finger when they were only providing. I have a huge problem, whatever I put in front of me, I eat. Unless it's just gross. Sometimes I find myself finishing something I didn't even tastefully enjoy. I go back for seconds just to taste more. I eat when I'm bored and I eat to feel full.  Exercising has slowly but surely become so frustrating. I weigh 285 lbs  :(  I'm only 24!!! I shouldn't be this big!!! like I said. Pathetic.

The crazy thing is, I'm really not this "sad" person. I have such a big personality, I love hanging out with friends, laughing, having a good time. I have a great career as a Dental Hygienist. I have an awesome boyfriend who loves me from the inside out. But at the end of the day my knees hurt, my right foot is killing me, and I look in the mirror and know that I've let my weight go to far. To the point I don't think I could drop down to a healthy weight on my own. How can I go from this to half of this with "cutting back" and making it to the gym around crazy schedules (I work 2 part time jobs in 2 different towns). I know I've made a mountain of excuses for myself. Pathetic.

But I'm ready now to let all of that go. I'm ready to take a step in to what I think is the right direction, I have been researching WLS, watching and reading testimonials like crazy. I just know that this can be a major tool to change my life, forever. I can't imagine having children that I can't chase around. I want that in life so bad. This past year I went to KingsDominion and couldn't ride most of the rides. I never want to experience that again. I want to be able to take a zumba class and not feel like I'm dieing in the first 15-20mins! I know I have a huge rd ahead of me, but I just know this is the right path. I am attending a seminar this Wednesday and will hopefully be able to schedule my first serious apt regarding the surgery. I'm so ready, I already feel better having made up my mind. Time for a change.

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