completely disgusted by myself

Apr 10, 2015

I feel disgusting.
I currently have a rash under my fatty stomach apron and in between my thigh. It hurts and it smells bad. My KP is flaring up so my skin on my thighs is ugly. My face is missing in folds of fat.
I'm so lonely.
I broke up with my boyfriend because I'm too embarrassed for him to see me like this. He wasn't touching me anyway, and it hurt too much. The shame is unbarable.
I cry all the time.
I go outside as infrequently as possible because I am ashamed to be seen, and also because it tends to physically hurt a lot.
I'm scared.,
I'm 32 years old and my clock is ticking.
If I cannot lose this weight and fine someone to be in love with me soon I am ending it all.
I can't live like this any more.
I won't live like this anymore.

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