It takes so long for the mind to catchup with the body.  Before I had my surgery I never even thought about a mirror.  Basically only looked in it to check for pimples and wrinkles.  However, now we have mirrors in just about every room.  I can catch my reflection on everything.  I like seeing the changes.  I like seeing how strong I am becoming.  I am really getting a better grip on the reality of my image.  Not to say the mind is in the here and now.  But, it is certainly very close.  I will probably always see a fat chic.  I will probably always see room for improvement.  But, what I will never see is a failure.  I will never see myself quit.  I can't wait to post photos at 18 months out and really truly see the differences.  I know they are there I just need to embrace this new body as much as the freedom it has given me.

It is about 6:45 in the morning I have been up since 5 on even for a Saturday that is early for me.  I am going to Holland today for a day trip with a lady I met here on OH and some other expats.  She is a very grounded person.  I researched the city and the venue 100 times.  I can't exercise until I get back this evening or this afternoon.  Sorry for the random thoughts but, why am I tripping.  My stomach is killing me and I must have pissed about twelve times like some old incontinent cat.  I actually showered like it is go out with the girls night.  LOLOL ok but seriously, I always get like this when I am going to meet new people and see new things.  I just wish I could relax and enjoy the experience.  I am already trying to figure out how to get out of going but that started last night.  Well I need to put on my big girl pants and man up this will be fun this will be exciting and I can workout when I get home.  Shhhhh I think that is my real problem but I am about to go for a run since my train doesn't leave for two hours.  That should count towards something.  Enjoy the weekend, I plan to.  

Heee Heee I am so giddy it is disgusting.  I do intend to infect everyone and everything with this happy little spirit of mine.  So I have been working out with the bare essentials.  My body weight, a Reebok tension resistance band, 40lbs of dumbells, 2lbs hand weight, and 5lb ankle weights.  I have never used all 40lbs at a time.  This weekend my loverly yes I mean loverly husband bought me a Fitness Cube.  It is the cutest little thing I have ever seen.  When I first saw it in the magazine I wanted it.  But, you know a girl ain't working right now so I was like looks nice drooled over the ad for about two weeks.  Very much like when I got my first Ipod.  But then just threw the ad away.  This was well over two months ago.

Well when I saw my happy little cube.  I was skipping laughing jumping squealing and whole bunch of unnecessary roughness.  LOL ok too much time with my son and football plays.  But Anywho I got a new piece of workout equipment and I am about to go kick butt on it.  Let's see what it can do.  I will surely post a pic or two of this thing.  I soooooo love it and him too.

Another workout done.  I started a bit late today and that is ok because I still got it done and that is what matters.  Perhaps if I stop researching ways to improve my workout I will get more done and be happier with it.  Anyway nothing new nothing changed.  Same workout

Overhead Tricep Press (5 lbs)
Reverse Crunches
Cross Body Crunches
Butt Lift (Bridge)
Squats
Hammer Curls (10 lbs)
Arm Circles
Dumbbell Shrugs (5 lbs)
Standing Dumbbell Calf Raises (5 lbs)
Isometric Chest Press

1 hour cardio

I will rest when I am dead.  In the mean time I am going to get the most out of this life I can.  Sort of like a juicer.  Get all the good and leave the crap for the swine left behind.  Now where did all that come from?  I am kicking my a$$ working out every other day.  I am doing it even when I would rather be laying on the couch watching the A Team.  

I was so tired yesterday morning.  I got in late from school then I was wired from the bike ride home.  So it was hard to go to sleep.  I felt like truck hit me but, I do what I do.  I make lunches and breakfast.  Then the 3 mile bike ride to school and back.  Life is good.   I didn't want to take them to school.  It is a cold and windy ride and it is about 3 miles I think.  I am not sure.  But then I also needed to get groceries yesterday.  Yes i do it on my bike too.  With infant in tow.  So my weight his 30lbs and groceries.  I still did it.  All of it.  Here is the part I am proud of.  I still did my workout all of it.  I even added chest finally.  I didn't want to do it.  All the Rhianna pumping through this house and I was reluctant.  But, I did it anyway.  I want to see success.  I want to taste the satisfaction of triumph.  In order to do that I must press on.  I must do more and I must try harder.  That said.  It took me 15 minutes longer to complete the workout so I have to ask, Did I give it my all?  

At 185.3 yes I finally gained nearly half a pound.  I am more than happy with that.  I never want to look crack head skinny.  Anyway I still gave it my all.

Tricep Dips
Reverse Crunches
Cross Body Crunches
Butt Lift (Bridge)
Squats
Hammer Curls
Arm Circles
Dumbbell Shrugs
Standing Dumbbell Calf Raises
Isometric Chest Press

1 hour cardio

I will weigh tomorrow and see where I am.  Last week I added muscle and decreased body fat.  I will be happy if I see even the slightest increase in muscle.  So with determination in my heart and the Lord on my mind.....I will Go Hard or Go Home!  Pray for me.