How my life has changed since surgery

Nov 20, 2009

I haven't written a blog in a while and this is more for pre-ops who wonder onto my page than for myself. I had a lot of ideas of what post-op life would be like; some ideas were dead on and others were way off. Here is what I experienced.

My hospital stay was challenging.  I had to stay an extra day because my oxygen sat. levels were too low which meant I needed to be monitored. Retrospectively the docs thought it had to do with me being dependant on my CPAP machine which I used for sleep apnea. I had no idea what it was really going to be like right after surgery. I was in pain and strung out from the meds I was getting. The pain meds didn't really help the gas it just knocked me out. I was emotionally frayed and a train wreck at times. I wanted my own bed, was pissed I couldn't move without having pain and had buyers remorse. I thought I made a big mistake and now I was stuck with it the rest of my life. BUT! this might have been because they didn't give me my antidepressant while I was in and that by itself will make you depressed and ready to cry. The best thing I was told in the hospital was from a nurse who told me, "listen to your body". This is so, so true. Write it down because you will do well to remember it.

I took 3 weeks off of work post-op. I honestly could have gone back to work after 2 weeks but it sure was nice to have that extra week off! The first week recovering was the hardest. This is when I was on a liquid diet and all my brain told me was that I was really hungry and I needed a hamburger. It was really frustrating to start out sipping 1oz of water or chicken broth. This is where it comes in to play about listening to your body. Follow the post-op guidelines but listen to your body. You will feel what you are ready and not ready for. One of the first thicker things I had was slim-fast. It has protein, decent flavor and other nutritional value. I had an excellent support and I learned how valuable this is post-op. My wife motivated me to do my walks, stay mobile and stay hydrated. Once I got home I felt better. Once I got my drain out 1 week later (yes you will have a drain with this surgery) I felt 100 times better. At this point I really felt a difference. It is hard to get used to the portion changes and I had to experiment to learn what I could eat, how much, how quick and so forth. I threw up once or twice and it was a valuable learning experience. Right after drinking after eating I realized I was wrong and my body reinforced this. I discovered my limits by listening to my body.

Mentally I was disappointed with my weight loss in the first few weeks. My hopes were for this radical transformation and that hadn't occured. I was a little anxious and I wasn't feeling the need to be patient. Then out of the blue it started. Like an earthquake my rapid weight loss started and I was holding on for dear life. This was really exciting for me. I was exercising 5 days a week and this may have helped me but I dropped pants size quicker than I could keep up with it. I had trash bag after trash bag full of sizes that I would never wear again. 4x shirts, 3x shirts....By June I felt that I was on top of the world. I had a lot more energy and was enjoying running for the first time since high school. I didn't need my CPAP machine anymore and I wasn't snoring at night at all. This from a man who sounded like an angry bear at night. I felt skinny and it was a great feeling. I realized post op how bad my self image had become as an obese person. I had a lot of moments where I realized how my pre-op life was so different and unhealthy. When you change your eating habits you notice when people around you are eating poorly. I ate a 12 inch steak sub, a large fry and a Mountain Dew? What was I thinking! I never missed soda. I still don't. There are things I do miss though but I would rather miss those things and be healthy versus fat and headed for a heart attack. If you don't realize that morbid obesity means an early death then you need to understand that. I digress.

My weight loss screached to a slow crawl at about month 3. I had lost 110 lbs by this time so it wasn't like I was crying the blues. It did take a mental toll on me though. After losing so much weight and getting so many compliments I thought I was doing something wrong. I must be eating wrong, stetching out my stomach, etc. The fears and anxiety was right there to drive my imagination. I think that one fear out of all WLS patients is the fear that they will stretch their stomach out. At about 2-3 months post op I noticed I had a greater capacity to eat food than before. I still couldn't eat an entire chicken breast if I tried so this is only relational to my previous "normal" amount. This I understood was normal. Your body heals and this means you can eat a little more. I noticed that my restriction levels varied from day to day. Some days I felt like I barely ate and others I could eat a lot more. Some people don't experience hunger initially but this really never went away for me. 

Also at month 3 was the dreaded hair loss. God, I hated that. The thinning was noticeble to me and my wife. I started taking Biotin daily (walmart) and within 2 weeks the hair loss stopped. Whew! It really never got back to 100% as of yet but good enough. I like the biotin though. My nails have never grown so fast too!

I have to talk about the drawbacks and negative experiences in here to keep it fair and balanced. I have learned post op that the best way for your body to digest food is the way that it was originally designed. The surgery saved me however and these are the things that I notice post op. I burp a lot more. After drinking a bunch or eating too fast. I don't have to be doing anything wrong for this to occur. My stomach noises have gotten louder in general. I have to watch my sugar a little now. I think this is mainly because I can easily overlook eating and my sugar gets too low. I notice this coming on with an uneasiness, sweatiness, sick feeling that only gets stronger until I eat something. When I am running I need to pay more attention to replenishment of fluids and sports supplements than the normal person. I need to have gatorade for a 40 minute run (yes I can do this!) whereas others do not. I went on a 8 hour hike over the summer and I had to pack a lot of snacks. This is something I do now everywhere. I pack a protein bar, 100 calorie pack of something, a water bottle, etc. That's it though. I'm pretty lucky with the drawbacks. I don't notice much now. I'm in a routine.

Within the first 4 months I was able to let go many of the stressors that I had due to my obesity. Not being able to fit in a resturant booth was no longer an issue at all. I used to look at the booths like it was my executioner. My wife and I love roller coaster but it was embarrising to find out that I couldn't get on anything after I hit 300 lbs. In August of this year I rode roller coaster rides all day long and didn't even come close to not fitting on the rides. I have been able to buy regular sized clothes again...I always felt like I looked like a slob because of my clothes or lack of new clothes. Now I love to shop and can even fit into larges! Are you kidding me? I'm estatic about these changes and every once and a while I stare at a resturant booth and feel so thankful for the opportunity to have bariatric surgery.

I still go out to eat on a regular basis. There are things I just can't eat and I avoid some places but overall I can find something anywhere. I always get a box for my meal. I generally eat about half or 1/3 of what I am given and save the rest to eat at a later time. As far as eating is concerned I like to focus on chicken or steak. I eat what I want however but my body dosen't do well with pastas, breads, rice, etc. Things that are hard to digest like corn never make it to my plate. After eating a healthier diet for a while I have a low tolerance to sugar and high fat foods. They generally make me sick to my stomach. Vitamin water has just as much sugar in it as a soda and I don't drink these types of drinks as a result.

I would do my surgery again in a heartbeat. I feel better about myself and physically I am a shadow of the obese man I once was. I have a second chance on life and for that I feel blessed. Overall this has been a wonderful, shinning experience and it has allowed me positive feedback from friends, coworkers and family. My self-image has dramatically increased and I know that I have added years to my life. I like that.

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