ObesityHelp

I am 4 weeks out and down 62 pounds since June 1st. That really doesn't seem like much to me but I know that there has never been another time in my life where I have dropped that much weight in such a short amount of time. Surgery is a great tool but I dunno if I am working my tool to its greatest strengths quite yet. Recovery is hard. Really hard. I AM happy about the changes that I am slowly seeing in the mirror. Before I started my journey I was in a 24...easily could have gone up to a 26. I was miserable and none of my clothes looked or fit right. Now, after losing 60 pounds nothing looks or fits right either. Its frustrating to go into my closet and have to spend an hour there trying to find something that doesn't look too sloppy for work.

Work...hah. I had planned on going back to work full time after two weeks of recovery. What was I thinking?! At two weeks post op I still couldn't take a shower without seeing stars and needing to sit and rest. I had absolutely no energy to even do the simplest tasks. I started going back to work part time...which really turned out to be an hour or two a day. It was kind of pathetic really but I simply couldn't muster the energy to stay any longer. My incisions hurt after sitting in a chair for too long and then having to drive 30-60 minutes home was grueling. I slowly added more hours to my day but even at 4 weeks out I haven't been at work for more than four hours in any one day since before surgery. Im getting there though! 

Food...I am battling the food demon. I am able to get most...if not all of my water requirements in. That isn't so bad. I have a water bottle or a starbucks cup filled with crunchy ice from Sonic nearly everywhere I go. Food makes me want to vomit though. There have been times where I get a wild craving and send the hubby to the store for things to cure my cravings only to find out that I can eat them once (barely) and then can't stand the thought again. I can't open my refrigerator because even the slightest smell of food makes me want to heave. I have tried every protein shake that I can find and all make me vomit. I am able to get some real food down even though my surgeon still wants me on liquids. I can do shrimp...and some chicken and various other oddities. Im still exploring my options :) My surgeon got word that I wasn't getting my protein shakes in and has put all the girls in the office on alert. I got a call from Kelly who wants me to suck on lemons before trying my shakes. Oh, and to take Zofran. I don't think that she realizes that throwing up protein shakes is HIGHLY discouraging and makes me not want to try it again. Ah well, ill see what I can muster today.

Stones...so last Friday night...the evening before a REALLY big meeting that I produce once a year I developed SEVERE pain in my lower abdomen. I immediately thought omg...I have a blockage. I walked around my house trying to do anything I could to make it go away. My husband was sleeping because he had a big day ahead of him as well so I drank and walked and tried to force myself to go to the bathroom. I belched and passed gas and nothing would help. The pain wasn't moving either so I was I pretty sure that after an hour or so of this that it was a blockage. I woke my hubby up and off to the ER we went. I moaned and cried and screamed the whole way there. The hospital was nice and quiet so I thought I would have some seriously speedy "service" but I was wrong. It felt like a decade of waiting (course it was prolly two minutes but with pain it always seems longer). I explained to them when I got there that I had a DS...told them what the surgery entails and how my insides would be WAY different than any other "bypass" patient they had seen previously. That likely delayed my care because it took them quite a long time to do research on my procedure before they would even do anything (not that that is a bad thing!) They finally took me back to a room, gave me an IV and Dialaudid and all was good for about ten minutes, then the pain came back. I yelled for the nurse who gave me another dose of the Dialaudid which actually made the pain worse. I couldn't sit still, or see straight, I just wanted to die. It was SO bad! I called again for the nurse who finally gave me some Atavan. OMG...pure heaven in an IV. That finally took my pain almost all the way down and I could stop crying. It was amazing. During the worst of it the nurse from CT came in and brought that horrible contrast dye for me to drink and told my husband to have me drink it once my pain levelled out. Once I was feeling better I tried...I took maybe three sips and then it came right back up. I gave up and just laid in my bed until they came to wheel me into get my scan. I don't remember much of the scan. Have I mentioned how much I love Atavan? After the scan was done my mother arrived to take over watch and let my hubby go home. He wasn't doing me any good anyways so it was nice to have my mommy there to comfort me. It's amazing how much a mom can do even when you are 30 years old lol. So the doc comes in some time later and tells me I have a kidney stone and that is what was causing all the pain. Oh lord, I wanted to die. I could have just stayed home and toughed it out for a few more hours and then would have been able to do my meeting had I known it was just a kidney stone! So he prescribed me pain meds and Zofran and sent me on my way.

I am honestly quite thankful to not have any complications from surgery. My incisions all healed beautifully, I haven't had any leaks or anything earth shattering happen. It just takes forever to heal and I find myself getting frustrated with not being able to get up and do my everyday normal life. I know it will return eventually but I want it to happen sooner than later darnit!