Closer...

Apr 22, 2010

I'm actually having a hard time conceptualizing just how soon I'll be having my surgery.  It's now less than two weeks away.  My problem is that I know how short two weeks are and yet I know that having my surgery should feel like it's ages away.  My brain can't wrap itself around this short/long distance thing. 

Oh, and I started my liquid diet.  The surgeon originally told me I'd have to be on it for two weeks.  Then, when he sent me the diet sheet, he told me to be on it for ten days.  I'm a bit of an overacheiver, so I started at two weeks out.  I'm on day two.  It's surprisingly easy.  I mean, really easy.  I was afraid my stomach was going to be on fire with hunger for the entire time.  Not so.  I had my first hungry moment today.  I thought, "Oh no, here it comes... I'm going to be hungry for the next 12 days!" and then I realized that I was so engrossed in my work that I hadn't been drinking as much as I should have and I hadn't had my yogurt yet.  I get to have full liquids for the first half of my liquid diet.  So, I stopped, ate my yogurt, drank my water and marveled at how satisfied I felt. 

Last night, when I got home from work, my mother had made macaroni and cheese with tuna... sort of a poor man's tuna casserole.  It's one of my favorite things to eat.  I looked longingly at it for about a minute and then went to the fridge and got out the chicken stock I made earlier this week.  I heated some up, poured it into a Thermos, mixed up a protein shake, drank some water, rounded up my kids and headed to the boxing gym.  I'm not currently boxing.  I tried it a few times last month and made myself wheezy.  I went too hard, too fast.  Not wanting to compromise my breathing before surgery, I vowed to come back to it when I get the all clear.  And I will... because it was FUN.

After boxing, as we were coming back into town, the boys saw that the local Sonic was back open for the season and asked if we could stop in.  I want to see that I can be around food and it not be a big deal.  So, I said sure and we swung in.  They got ice cream Sonic Blasts and as there was nothing sugar free on the menu (except this thing they call the Sonic Wave... what is it, you ask?  A bottle of water.  For $1.29... No thanks!), I didn't order anything for myself.  But I ordered a Java Chiller for my mom... caramel.... to DIE for.  They brought out the three cups of ice cream goodness and I gave the boys theirs, stuck my mom's in the cup holder beside me and drove home.  When I got home, I handed her's to her and secretly patted myself on the back for not even being tempted to taste any of them.

I think I'm going to survive this.  I really do.  It feels like food is already losing its grip on me.  I went shopping earlier this week and bought everything I'd need for the liquid preop diet.  As I'll be in Mexico for 10 days, I figured I'd save the postop diet shopping for later.  Anyway, I breezed through the store, wasn't attacked by a single box or bag of cookies, didn't trip over any carbs, and I wasn't eaten by the ice cream.  I bought my Crystal Light, some juice to mix with water (even the juice was sweetened with Splenda), a bunch of sugar free Jello, and some produce to go into my stock and I checked out and went home.  One of my sons was with me.  He didn't ask for a single junk item.  So, guess what.  I think we're ALL going to survive this.

And to top it off, I had a dream last night that I was thin and wearing a super cute dress.  I even felt light on my feet.  Ah, things to come.  :)

0 Comments