I am back!!!!!!

Jul 07, 2011

 After getting my feelings hurt, I left OH for a few weeks, closed out my old account and decided to come back. I now know that the block feature is there for a reason and I have resolved to use it.
I went by BB when I was on here last time.

So far this journey has taught me ALOT. Like there are some people who think that they know it all and are GOD. One thing I do not get is someone who has had WLS being so mean and nasty to other people who probably have the same fears and questions as the WLS vet did. It is disheartening and in my opinion really disgusting. There is NO need to be rude to someone that was the same as YOU at one time. Ok off that rant.

I hit another hurdle. Between all the doctors' visits and the testing, I am beginning to feel like a pincushion or a piece of paper that someone posts stickers all over. LOL yes, it has gotten that bad. I have done more research. Guess it is true what they say- research is goooooooooooooooood. But there is so much info out there and so much to take it that it feels daunting at times. But I know I can do it. Heck if I put in the time to do 5 research papers for college (at one time) I know darn well I can do more research on WLS. Not like I am a dummy or something and can not comprehend what I am getting myself into.

THERAPY is good. I have approached many issues that I tried to ignore in the past. That wall is down and I am taking things as they come. I am not holding or bottling my feelings in or up and this is a great thing. An emourmous feeling of dread and self loathing has been lifted. I have hated myself for years because I feel that I got fat because I wanted to hide. Now that person who I admired at one time is clawing her way out and there is nothing and I mean NOTHING to stop her from screaming from the mountaintop. It is a great feeling. I have been approaching food in a very different manner than I did a year ago. I actually question if I am actually hungry hungry or if it is head hunger. Most of the time it is head hunger and I walk away. Water has become my best friend.

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