Off Track and So Frustrated!!!

Jun 01, 2010

So, I am 9 weeks and 5 days out from surgery (March 25th 2010). I started off really well. Eating perfectly and losing weight and the whole works. Well, now it seems as though I fell off the wagon =( I feel so frustrated. I start my mornings off really well with an atkins shake for breakfast and a cheese stick or yogurt for snack because otherwise I am starving by lunchtime. For lunch I usually meet my fiancee for lunch because its the only time of the day where we can spend time with each other alone and catch up on things because he usually works really late. We usually go to the mexican restaurant here and I usually order the chicken fajita salad and eat usually just the chicken. Then I hardly ever eat a snack in the afternoon and I am good until dinner. Dinner, I am usually pretty good. But I find myself having more oops days than more good days. I don't know what to do. I feel myself failing even though the scale is ever so SLOWLY going down. Maybe that is my problem. Maybe I just think that the scale should just be going down down fast but it's not. Maybe I should just stop weighing myself except for the once a month I go to the doctor, I don't know. I am having an extremely hard time getting the motivation to exercise also. I feel like there is no time in the day. I know I need to MAKE time it's just so hard to simply find it =( I have a sit down job and then when I am home I usually start dinner and clean my house.

I currently have lost (according to the doctors scale) 15 pounds since surgery. Seems like alot but it seems to be taking forever to get off of me. I just want it gone!! I cried last night while my fiancee held me because a part of me feels like a failure and I don't know why. I have no restriction really and my next fill isn't for another 2 weeks! My fiancee tells me that the only person who can make me fail is me and I said I know that's why I am so scared! I am just so frustrated right now with this all. I need to get myself going again and pick it up!! I am going to the library to rent some WLS books and see what I can come up with. GRR!!!

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