Getting closer

Nov 27, 2009

 So with Thanksgiving behind me, I can look forward to my surgery, which is getting closer. December 21 is the day that will forever change my life.  I still have my pre-op appt with the surgeon on 12/10 and my medical clearance appointment on 12/11.  I still have about 4-5 pounds to lose before the surgery.  My insurance requirement was to lose 2% of total body weight, which for me is 7lbs.  An easy and low number it may seem, but if I was able to lose that, and more I wouldn't be needing the surgery now would I? lol.

As I get nearer, I am getting more and more excited, and the nervousness is kicking in!

I had one moment that kind of set me back.  It was my husband, saying that he doesn't believe I will be doing the exercise to keep up with the weight loss, and I will have to prove him wrong.  That pissed me off, because in my mind, he is my husband, he is the one that I should definitely count on for support.  But instead of remaining angry, I am going to prove him wrong.  Once the surgery is over, and I am cleared for physical activity. I will exercise, and just to throw it in his face, I will invite him to exercise with me.  And then we will see how big he is then,  I mean I love my husband, but he can be a complete and insensitive ass sometimes. Makes me want to slap him. I mean he is not against the surgery, he is all for me losing weight and becoming healthy again. But the whole exercise thing came out of left field, and it just made me angry.

I was told by some friends, he might have said that because he is afraid once I lose the weight I will become more confident and leave him.  And thats one thing that bothers me.  I don't know why people assume that all fat chicks are not confident and once we have a man we latch on to him.  I was and still am very confident.  I was confident before I met my husband, and I will continue to be confident.  I know I am an amazing and beautiful person, my weight does not determine my self worth. So no, losing weight will not make me change. If i wanted to leave, I would have left already! lol.  

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