My last weekend!

Dec 17, 2009

 So this is my last weekend being in the fat category. My surgery is Monday, and boy oh boy am I freaking nervous.  I had a couple of freak out sessions, where I got really scared and started doubting EVERYTHING about this damn operation and all that comes with it.  But I know that this is something I need!  I was one of the LUCKY ones that got approved right away and didn't have any issues with getting approved, the appointments and whatnot.  So I now that this is probably my only chance at losing weight.

One of the things..that is getting to me, is the comments.  I've always been known to friends and family as the happy fat chick.  I was ALWAYS happy and ALWAYS outgoing, even though I was bigger.  My weight didn't seem to stop my confidence.  Because all the while, I was fat and healthy, and as long as I was healthy  I didn't have an issue.  But this past year, my weight escalated dramatically as well as the numerous health problems.  I'm not sure which happened first the weight gain and then the health, or the health then the weight gain.  But either way the surgery is needed. But back to my point, my older sister said to me "I'm tired of you fat chics wanting to be skinny all of a sudden".  My sister is 12 years older than me, and has always been skinny.  She has never had to deal with weight. And it annoyed me that she said that.

I'm also worried about the recovery time. My sister in law has me scared to death after she discussed what surgery is like.  She never had the bypass, but she was relaying stories of her mom having the lapband, and other people having other surgeries.  So I was REALLY scared! She kept saying how much pain I would be in, how much my stomach would be bruising, it was crazy.  I just hope that my recovery is not too bad.  I'm thankful because my husband has literally the whole week off.  My surgery is on Monday-so he has saturday/sunday/monday/tuesday/wednesday/ off, then he is scheduled to work thursday. and although he was off on christmas, he decided to go in to work overtime for time and a half :(

so we will see how im feeling

im just really nervous!!! ahhhhhh!

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