October 18, 2013

Oct 16, 2013

I joined TOPS a few weeks ago because one thing I have learned about myself is that I need external support and accountability.  Simply having someone waiting for me to show up to the gym, to weigh in, to in some way participate, helps me do what I need to do.  I've been working out with a trainer now for several months, I've joined a yoga class, and now I've joined TOPS.  (i had visited the bariatric support group here when I first moved to Spokane, but wasn't impressed.) 

I'm a bit disappointed in the TOPS group because there is a very different level of commitment to weight loss than what I need.  this might not make a difference if it weren't such a small group--generally just five of us--and if there were more variety in the amount of weight needing to be lost--most I would guess have +75 lbs. to lose.  Most of the time is spent on 'paperwork' and little prizes.  If that was making a difference for them, I wouldn't have a problem, but the largest total loss for any person for the last quarter was just 3 lbs.  Whatever they may be doing sensibly, they aren't taking off pounds.  I try to remember that this is their group, they've been at it for years, if I understand correctly, so it really is a reflection of their needs and wants--and leadership style.  Very different than mine, so I will take advantage of the accountability and leave it at that.

One of the things that struck me when I first visited and signed up was a question about whether I think my gastric bypass is "still working."  It was asked in a way that suggested a degree of skepticism about wls and even a bit of a desire to hear it had "failed."  Well, it hasn't failed.  I ate what I shouldn't and too much of it.  So I gained weight just like any other person would.  But there is still this sense that somehow wls is 'cheating' or an easy way out.  I don't know enough about lap-bands, so maybe they do fail, but the research seems to suggest that gastric bypasses maintain their impact.  I'll have to look into that.  But the fact that I am losing weight --averaging 1.5 lbs a week--because I am exercising and eating right, tells me everything is working just fine.  Now I do expect the loss to slow down just like with anyone else (we lose faster when we first start) and just like it did around 18 months.  But the benefits of the wls--lack of hunger, ability to feel satisfied, need to eat small amounts, etc. is still there.  (As is the constipation when I do eat right.)

I did lose another 2.75 lbs. this week.  So that is good.  I do like it when the effort pays off, but I need to prepare myself for the weeks in which it doesn't.  I know those will come.  Had an interesting conversation at TOPS last night.  One of the ladies has diabetes (I think) and believes the problem is corn (really just corn based sweeteners. I think).  The whole focus of the night was on candy.  With Halloween coming, that makes sense but it is also one of her key issues.  As I was listening, it really made me think again about the change model.  Here is someone for whom sugar is really almost a poison and she's trying to find a way to keep eating it, if just in different amounts.  But one thing she kept saying was about needing to feel satisfied.  Another gold star for RnY.  The whole role of ghrelin and leptin. Challenge is to find a way to get that satisty.  

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