Capping Off 2010!

Dec 25, 2010

So I haven't posted an update on OH in a while although I have uploaded an update on YouTube for those that are following me there.

Everything is going along pretty smoothly.  There is really nothing to report...thus, no updates.  My weightloss has progressed as I would have expected, me being a lightweight.  Things slowed down significantly the closer I get to my goal. Although, some weeks I am pleasantly surprised by the scale.  Like this week, I managed to lose 2lbs.  No real change in my eating.  I have worked out pretty hard last weekend for 3 days straight but my workouts are inconsistant. 

I currently weigh 168 and I am wearing my personal goal size 10.  As a result, I adjusted my OH goal weigh up from 155 to 160, which is my surgeon's goal weight.  My "ideal" weight, according to some chart, is 143 which at this point, I think is rediculous and would have me looking absurdly thin unless I was by some miracle able to have plastic surgery to remove the excess skin and fat that are literally hanging from my body which would probably weigh about 15lbs. 

If everything I have read is correct, I still have another 8 or 9 months of "losing window" during which I will possibly still be losing weight.  I feel as though I have been in maintenance phase for quite a while now.  I rarely if ever drink protein shakes.  I can get all my protein in with food.  But I know that if I want to lose and lose fast, I need to replace meals with protein shakes.  Which would feel like dieting at this point but if I wanted to lose fast just to get to my goal quickly, that would be a way to do it. 

But why, since I will basically make it to my surgeon's goal in 1 year, maybe even less by eating normally and just exercising 2 to 3 days a week, I see no reason to change that just to meet a number.

I've said from the beginning that the number on the scale was never my goal since I had no idea what a healthy weight was for me as an adult.  I will simply decide what looks and feels good and right to me with the help of my surgeon and PCP,  And as I said, I factor in this excess skin.  Once I reach whatever my goal weight is determined to be, I will simply use the scale as a guideline to keep my weight in check.

So I definitely overate today.  I am still full and miserable.  I also cooked all day so I am exhaused.

I replied to a post yesterday about transfer addictions and admitted that I still have an addiction to food.  As I am sure everyone knows, having WLS does not cure you of your psychological issues.  It only fixes your physical weight loss problem.  I enjoy food, love it really.  I enjoy cooking and enjoy eating my own cooking.  I love sweets, chocolate, bread, meats, dammit...all of it!  So how on earth do I keep myself in check when this is what I have to deal with?  I mean, let's face it, this IS the reason I chose this surgery, so I wouldn't have to give up eating.  But that's a double edged sword really, isn't it? 

I guess I figured that once I lost the weight, I could just work out and that would balance things out.  I mean, I hear thin people say that all the time.  "I work out so I can eat!"  Like they are all proud of it.  So maybe this is normal?  But it doesn't feel normal.  I don't know.  So I was all excited that I never have to make another New Year's resolution to lose weight but it seems that I need to resolve to seek therapy for a possible food addiction in the new year.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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